“Can we talk about that?”
“Yeah, we probably should.”
I pick up the towel I dropped, take his hand and lead him to the sofa, moving piles of clothes so he can sit next to me. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Several things. First, I heard from the prosecutor on the case, and they’re proposing a plea deal that would avoid a trial, but he’d be pleading to charges that’re less than what I wanted.”
“How much time would he do?”
“Twenty-five years with fifteen to serve and ten years of probation. Permanent loss of license, lifetime drug and alcohol testing, hundred-thousand fine.”
“That’s not nothing.”
“No, it isn’t, but is it enough? Shouldn’t he spend the rest of his life in hell after what he did to us?”
“Yes, he should, and if he’s got a heart or a soul, he’s probably already there.”
“His sister told me at one of the earlier hearings that he’s completely broken by what happened.”
“He should be.” I reach for his hand and link our fingers. “What’s your heart telling you?”
“That I don’t want to go through a trial. This has already gone on long enough.”
“Will you be able to live with lesser charges than what you wanted?”
“That’s what I’m trying to decide. I need to talk to Nat’s parents about it, too, but they want it over with as well.”
“What can I do for you?”
He gives my hand a squeeze. “This is helping. What’s new here?” He gives me his stern look, which sure as hell beats his devastated look. “Did you do anything to make your situation worse?”
“I did not,” I say with a smile. His stern look doesn’t scare me. “I did reach out toher, though I haven’t heard back.”
“What’s your plan there?”
“Not sure. I guess that’ll depend on whether she responds.”
“I give you credit for making the first move. That couldn’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t, but denial isn’t an option, so…” I shrug as if this is no big deal when it’s the biggest of deals. “I told Rob about her and the baby. He’ll tell his parents. The cat’s out of the bag, and there’s nothing I can do but try to accept it and go on with my life.”
“You’re very brave. I’m proud of you.”
“Oh, jeez, if you could see the inside of me, you wouldn’t be proud. I’m like a giant marshmallow, full of emotions I don’t know what to do with.”
“Share them with me. I want to help you the way you always help everyone else.”
“I’m angry and sad and bitter and betrayed, and the craziest thing is, if he walked in here right now, I’d still be so damned glad to see him. How is that possible?”
“Because the bad stuff doesn’t take away the love you had for him.”
“Even if I wish it would.”
“No, you don’t. For all his faults, Mike was still the father of your children, and he’ll forever hold a special place in your heart.”
“Yes, I suppose he will, even though we’re currently in the biggest fight ever.”
His low chuckle pleases me because he looked so upset when he first came in. I want him to laugh and smile and be happy, and I like being the one who does that for him. I lean my head against his solid shoulder. “What a pair we are, huh?”