She runs her fingers through my hair, which is oddly soothing. “Of course you weren’t.”
I seem to have forgotten about my plan to leave while I still could. Her comfort is as necessary to me as my next breath. I’m overwhelmed by memories of my beautiful little girls in tutus and ballet slippers, in full makeup with their hair in buns for recitals. It all comes flooding back to me in wave after wave of nostalgia for a time I failed to fully appreciate in the moment.
I was so busy at work that Nat handled almost everything with the girls, but I never missed a recital or show. We were so proud of them and celebrated their every accomplishment with cake and flowers and lavish praise.
“I’ve been so far removed from all that. How is it that a single phone call can bring it all back?”
“That’s all it takes.”
“Yeah, as you know far too well.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Sorry. This week is about you, not me.”
“Don’t be silly, Gage. Every week is about all of us and finding a way to get through the days.”
I raise my head off her shoulder so I can see her lovely face. “Thanks for being there.”
“I’m so glad I was here when you got that call.”
“Me, too. I would’ve drowned my sorrows in bourbon if I was at home alone.”
She caresses my face as she gazes into my eyes with affection and concern. “There’s no need for that when I’m always right here and happy to listen—and to drink bourbon with you.”
I’m leaning in to kiss her before I’m aware of my intention to do so. The pull to her, to the comfort and support and caring that come with her, is too powerful to resist. When her lips connect with mine, the storm raging inside me goes silent, giving way to desire so sweet and intense, it requires my full attention.
When she reclines on the sofa, she takes me with her.
I go willingly, ending up on top of her as the kiss deepens and intensifies into something I can’t find the will to resist.
Who am I kidding? I have no willpower at all when it comes to her. We proved that the other night when she slid naked into my bed—totally intentionally, regardless of what she says—and the hard shell I’d put in place to protect myself from further hurt melted like a chocolate bar left out in the sun.
I want her. I need her. I might even love her as more than a friend. With her warm and soft and eager beneath me, I can’t recall why I thought it was such a good idea to resist what’s happening with her. We get so carried away that we start pulling at clothes with impatience.
“Not here,” she whispers against my lips. “Upstairs.”
Right. Kids in the house.
I get up, give her a hand and follow her up to her room, where she closes and locks the door. Then she slides her hands up my chest to bring me down to her so we can pick up where we left off. The fire reignites instantly, leaving us straining to get closer. I push her back against the door and lift her into my arms.
Her legs wrap around my hips.
I nearly faint from a surge of desire that makes me light-headed and loopy. I’d forgotten what it was like to want someone this way, how all-consuming it can be when it’s the right person. Realizing that Iris is the “right” person is a bit astounding, but I can’t take the time to ponder that when she’s pulling at my shirt and trying to move things along.
I put her down only long enough to remove clothes. With my jeans pooled around my ankles, I lift her again, press her back against the door and bring her down on my cock. I’m overtaken by a feeling of relief to be joined with her again, like I’ve been waiting for that every minute since the last time in the wee hours of this morning.
We go at it like we’ve just been reunited after a long separation.
Worried that we’ll disturb the kids, I move us off the door and shuffle carefully to the bed, where I lay her down and hammer into her like a man possessed.
She comes twice before I let myself join her in a release that surges from the deepest part of me. It’s more than a physical thing. It’s emotional and spiritual, too. It’s all the things I had with Nat and then some. Realizing that is devastating.
“Are you all right?” Iris asks.
“Yeah, why?”
“You just went very still for a second there.”