“That’s not why I stayed… Because I wanted that. Even though I do.” He closes his eyes and takes a breath. “For fuck’s sake. I’m making a mess of this.”
I start to laugh and can’t stop. I laugh so hard, I have tears in my eyes. I laugh until he turns us so he’s on top of me, staring down at me with the intense gaze that’s intrigued me from the first time I met him. His eyes say so much about who and what he is. And right now, he’s as fierce as I’ve ever seen him, staring down at me with a mixture of annoyance and amusement reflected in his expression.
“Are you finished?” he asks.
That sets me off again.
He kisses me until I quit laughing and start kissing him back.
I curl my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips, pressing my core against his hard length. This is what I need.Heis what I need. He makes me feel alive in a way I haven’t been since tragedy struck.
His hand slides down my back to cup my ass, holding me in place as he rocks against me while never letting up on the tongue-curling kiss.
Yes. Yes.Yes.
When he’s touching me and kissing me and making me see stars, I have no bandwidth left to think about the latest catastrophes to befall me. There’s only space for him and me and us and this. He moves quickly to get rid of our clothes and slides into me, the tight fit demanding my full attention.
Then he dips his head to take my nipple into his mouth, and I nearly come from the combination of that and the pressure from where our bodies are joined.
I cling to him, wanting this feeling to last as long as it possibly can, because only this can block out the darkness and make me forget. My hands coast over his back and down to cup his muscular backside as he pumps into me, reminding me that I’m still very much a woman with so much left to give.
I needed that reminder so badly.
“Look at me,” he whispers gruffly.
I open my eyes and blink him into focus, so sexy and handsome and devoted. To have his full attention this way is such a gift.
“You’re magnificent, and anyone who didn’t realize what he had with you is a goddamned fool.”
Nothing he could’ve said to me would’ve meant more than that tonight.
We stare into each other’s eyes as he reaches between us to tease me into an orgasm that comes from the deepest part of me. The release is a purging of sorts, a letting go of the stress and trauma that’s held me in its grip for hours. As I come down from the highest of highs, I expect the gloom to reappear. But it doesn’t. I feel too good for gloom.
“I might need a regular dose of your special brand of mind-altering treatment.”
His gruff chuckle makes me smile. “Any time, babe.”
“You made me feel something other than horrible. I’m incredibly grateful for that.”
“Likewise.” He kisses my forehead and lips. “I haven’t felt this good in a very long time.”
“I’m glad. I want that for you.”
“I want it for you, too.”
“But no relationships.”
“Right.”
Again, there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes as he confirms his earlier position.
It’s fine. If all we ever have is this, it’s more than enough. Or so I tell myself.
GAGE
She seems betterin the morning. I’d like to think it was the sex. We did it three times during the night, and while I should be exhausted after barely sleeping, I’m energized and determined to get her through whatever comes her way today.
It’s strange to realize that I don’t feel guilty anymore about having sex with Iris, probably because we’ve been friends for years, and I think Natasha would’ve liked her as much as I do. That helps me to make peace with being intimate with someone who isn’t my wife. If I’d been with some random person, I would’ve been a wreck over it.