“I was on my way before I even thought about whether I should intrude.”
“You should always intrude.”
Her phone rings, and she glances at the caller ID. “It’s Rob. I need to take this.”
“Do whatever you need to.”
“Hey,” she says to Rob, instantly tearing up again. “I know. I can’t believe it either.”
I get up to fetch her a glass of ice water and stand in front of the sink, looking out at the covered pool while she’s on the phone with Rob. It bugs me that I’m bugged by her tight bond with her brother-in-law, and I’m self-aware enough to realize how stupid that is. Of course she’s close to her late husband’s brother. They’ve been to hell and back together, and naturally, news like they received today would only cement that bond.
But I’m still bugged by it, even if I have no good reason to be.
It’s not like she and I are together.
We had sex. A lot of sex. Really good sex. But that doesn’t give me a claim on her or anything. I’m the one who said I didn’t want that, and nothing has changed.
Except… I’m bugged by the brother-in-law. I take a long drink from the glass I poured for Iris, trying to resolve my own mixed emotions. That’s something I never would’ve done before I was widowed. I spent exactly six seconds a day considering my emotions. Now, like so many other things, monitoring my emotional health is a daily priority.
Today, my emotions where Iris is concerned are all over the place.
I hear her assuring Rob that he doesn’t need to come, that she’s fine, that she’ll call him if she needs anything. After I fill a second glass for her, I bring both with me to the living room, handing one to her.
“Thank you.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Not great. He left work after he got the news and doesn’t know what to do with himself.”
“Where are their parents?”
“In Italy on a long-planned vacation they’d already postponed several times because they didn’t feel ready to travel yet. Rob has decided not to call them with the news.”
“They won’t see it somewhere?”
“He doesn’t think so. They’re mostly off the grid when they travel. They never turn on a TV if they can avoid it.”
“It’s the right thing to let them enjoy the trip. Telling them now won’t change anything, and it’ll only upset them.”
“That’s what we figured.”
“Did Mike have other siblings?”
“No, just Rob. They were only a year apart, so they were super close.”
“Poor guy. That’s got to be so rough.”
“I would be a mess if something happened to one of my siblings.”
“Me, too.”
“It’s the craziest thing, isn’t it? To have to go on without the people who are most essential to us.”
“It’s unnatural, even if it’s a parent who’s supposed to go before you.”
“Yes, exactly. And then to have the loss compounded, even years later, by something like the NTSB report… The nightmare never ends.”
“No, it doesn’t.”