“Too easy, right?”
“Only you know that.”
She’s quiet for a long moment before she looks at me again. “As much as I love Rob, and I truly do, I’ve never been tempted to slide naked into his bed.”
I’m far more relieved to hear that than I probably should be. My lips quiver with amusement. “So, you’re admitting that was an intentional attack?”
“When did I say that?” she asks, all innocence.
I try to pull off a stern face, but I must fail miserably, because she laughs.
“Do you have regrets in the bright light of day?” she asks.
“None.”
“That’s good,” she says on a sigh of relief. “I’m glad.” Glancing at me again, she says, “Was your Insta post directed at me today?”
“In part. I’m trying harder to embrace gratitude as time marches on, and today, I’m grateful for you and your sexy naked body in my bed last night. And it’s funny, because if you’d asked me yesterday if I was ready to have sex with anyone, I would’ve said no way. But then there you were, and I was suddenly very ready.”
“It’d been a while for you. I’m sure any warm, naked, female body could’ve gotten you ready.”
With a finger on her chin, I compel her to look at me. “I told you that’s not true. I never could’ve done that for the first time with someone I didn’t already care about.”
“So, what happens now?”
“What do you want to have happen?”
“I don’t know. What about you?”
“I don’t know either. But I do know that what happened last night felt good, and I wouldn’t be opposed to more of it.”
“I wouldn’t either.”
“That said… I’m not looking for a relationship beyond the friendship we already have. Even though it’s coming up on three years—and how is that possible?—I’m just notthereyet. I’m not sure I ever will be, if I’m being honest.”
“I understand.”
“You deserve to find someone who can be there for you and your kids. I don’t want to get in the way of that with Rob or anyone else you might be considering for that role.”
“I’m not considering anyone for that role. Most of the time, I’m just trying to get through the day.”
“I don’t know how you do it with three little ones.”
“What choice do I have? I have help, thankfully. My parents are great, Rob, Mike’s parents, my friends. It’s just sometimes… what’s ahead stretches out like an eternity with no end in sight. Laney is three and a half, which means I have fifteen years to go before she leaves for college. It’s overwhelming to think of it that way.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it must be. I think about that sometimes, whether I could’ve done it on my own if Natasha had died in the accident and the girls had lived.”
“You could have—and you would have.”
“I don’t know. Losing the girls was horrible, but losing Natasha was just… That wrecked me.”
She curls her hands around my arm and leans her head against my shoulder. “You loved your girls so much. You would’ve found a way to care for them on your own. They would’ve helped you cope.”
“I suppose.”
“You would have, Gage. I know it. As much as single parenthood overwhelms me, it also gets me out of bed in the morning. They need me. I can’t afford to wallow in my grief when I’ve got three hungry kids waiting for me to get my shit together every day. That’s how it would’ve been for you, too.”
“You have much more faith in me than I do.”