I’m disappointed in him, even if I understand why he’s acting this way. This was exactly what he was afraid of—something happening to me or the kids after he took a risk and fell in love with us. It just never occurred to me that if somethingdidhappen, he’d walk away.
I should’ve seen that coming, and I’m sick to my stomach that I didn’t.
I tuck Tyler in and kiss him good night.
“What was wrong with Mr. Gage today?” he asks, too observant for his own good—and mine.
“I think he was tired after the busy week.”
“He was acting weird.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. We all need some sleep.”
“Is he going to be our new daddy?”
Dear Lord, child. Hit me when I’m low.“I don’t know, sweetheart, but he loves you and your sisters very much.”
“I love him, too. I want him to be my new daddy.”
I simply can’t handle this right now. I kiss my son again and tuck the covers in around his little body. “I’ll see you in the morning, buddy. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Thanks for a fun trip.”
I want to tell him that all the thanks go to Gage, but I’m suddenly uncertain if we’ll ever see him again. “You got it.”
I go into my own room, close the door and slide down to the floor as I dissolve into sobs that remind me far too much of the early days after Mike’s death. I resent Gage for that, too. How can he do this to me? To himself? To the kids? All over something that may be nothing.
But what if it isn’t? He didn’t sign on to nurse me through a serious illness after he’s already been to hell and back losing his wife and daughters.
I’m devastated and scared. As a single mom, any threat to me or my health is a very big deal.
I pull my phone from my back pocket and text Christy.Can you talk?
My phone rings with a call from her. “Hey.”
“What’s up? I thought you guys were in Florida.”
“We just got back.”
“How was it? I was thinking of you all week.”
“Wonderful. Nat’s parents are delightful. We had the best time.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“On the last night we were there, Gage and I were, you know, fooling around, and he found a lump in my breast.”
“Oh, Iris. Oh my goodness.”
“Gage brought us home and then left. He said he needs a break so he can think.”
“Oh no.”
“He’s in a total tailspin over this, and it may turn out to be nothing.”
“He’s scared, Iris. That’s all it is.”
“But he left! How could he just leave? Doesn’t he think I’m scared? I’m a single parent to three young children. Is this what’s going to happen any time something scary or worrisome happens?”