He felt raw right now, and it was damn hard to focus when everything about her took his breath away. He experienced emotions so caveman primitive it scared him, the urge to shelter and protect her, but that was the thing about strong women, they were resilient, often a damn sight more than men, and knew their own minds.
Especially this woman who had endured so much hardship, a woman who cared deeply about the people caught between terror and their innocent lives. Like her, he thought, his heart melting for her.
She broke the kiss, the knowledge of his own surrender in her eyes. She blinked a couple of times and drew him to the table. “Let’s eat.”
“And talk.”
“Yeah, that, too.” She released his hand and sat, dishing up the food. It all looked so delicious, and he was starving. “Tell me about the briefing. I didn’t want to miss it, but I wanted to be there for Volk.”
He nodded. “Of course.” If it had been one of his brothers, wild horses couldn’t pull him away. That’s what her connection with Volk was like. “We gathered a lot of intel, especially the laptop. It has layers of encryption, so they’re recruiting this hotshot profiler…IT hybrid person from the FBI to work with us. Some of the text messages from the phones indicate their next target location is London, but we don’t have enough information yet to determine who they are targeting. It’s a waiting game now. Hopefully, we’ll get that information so we can stop the attacks. I’m tired of reacting to the aftermath.”
She nodded, reaching out and clasping his hand. “Me, too.”
“The information we got from the witnesses to the basilica attack indicate there were three suicide bombers. All told, from the attacks, we have two hundred and fifty-five dead, across all three attacks, and one hundred and sixty wounded. The FBI forensic geeks said the vests were packed with TNT, metallic screws, and flammable substances.”
“That’s gruesome. We have to catch these bastards.” Her hand tightened around his.
“We will with people like you on our side.”
She smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. In fact, Langley has a mission for me.”
His gut tightened. This was it. What she wanted to talk to him about. “You’re not going to tell me it’s classified.”
“Not for you.” She took a hard breath. “It’s Ja Savic. They’ve given me the green light to track him down. Now that he’s part of the conspiracy and most likely has information about Novak Jovanovic, it’s a sanctioned operation.”
“You’re going without Volk?”
“Yes, he’s in no shape to work at this time, and since Zorra is also out of commission, Gonchaya will be going with me.”
“He’s a solid guy,” Preacher said quietly.
“He is.” She agreed, her eyes softening.
“What does this mean for us?” She curled into herself, and it was painful for him to watch, but his newfound clarity made him understand she had to go through her own journey and get to the other side.
Everything inside Karasu froze. His question was valid and meaningful. Suddenly, she fought against the chill, trembling as her appetite disappeared. She set down her fork, wrapping her arms around herself.
“Cold?”
“Yes. Could we go inside?”
“The food?”
“Leave it for now.”
He rose and came to her, the feel of his arm going around her shoulders comforting in her now uncertain world. She loved that he didn’t press her, get angry, or show any kind of negative emotion.
He trusted her, and that was everything. He was everything.
They went into the house, and he steered her to the sofa. He sat down with her, drawing a knitted throw over her. “Let me warm you up.” He drew her head onto his shoulder, then kissed her on the forehead and wrapped both arms around her.
Karasu closed her eyes and rested her arm across his chest, her throat suddenly tight. She had learned a hard lesson when she’d been kidnapped, that she was the only one she could depend on to take care of her. No one was ever going to take care of her, or provide for her, or keep her warm—because of that she had acquired a mental toughness. She could allow herself to be dependent or fragile. She would never have survived if she had. But right then, she simply didn’t have the resources left to draw on. And he was there, sheltering her, providing her with warmth and strength, taking care of her, and keeping her safe. It was as if he knew just how defenseless she was.
He brushed a soft kiss against her temple, his hand in her hair, running it through his fingers, his touch oddly intimate as he tried to comfort her, give her the time she needed to deliver the bad news he knew was coming. It was more than she could handle, and Karasu tightened her arm around him and turned her face against his neck, struggling against the growing fullness in her chest. She didn’t know what was wrong or why she felt the way she did. It was as if everything she’d built was collapsing around her, as if all her safety nets were gone.
“You can tell me anything, babe.”
Those words loosened her from the ice that seemed to encase her, warming her like nothing else could. She cleared her throat, then said, “Until Savic is either captured or dead, I can’t move on.”