“Tell the guards to let her through if she leaves — we’ll watch her and follow.”
I’m quick to answer him, “It’s not going to happen.”
His thumb taps absently on the desk. “I hope you’re right,” he answers.
I don’t hide the defensiveness as I bite out, “I am.”
The large antique grandfather clock ticks away steadily, the air thick with tension.
“I think I failed you back then. With Mom. It was … heavy, too heavy.” Carter’s remark is met with silence. “And I think I may have failed you these last years,” he says with genuine remorse.
I can barely think about him and his feelings when he’s trying to push away the one woman I have ever loved. I’ve never asked him for anything. I’ve given my fucking life to this family. She is all I’ve ever wanted.
“Declan, no matter what happens, I’m here for you. I will do whatever you think is best when it comes to Braelynn.”
“And if I don’t want to do this?”
“Then we don’t. It’s as simple as that.” A shred of relief breaks up the tension in my shoulders and I feel as though I canbreathe for the first time since he told me Aria and Braelynn talked.
“Above all else, we are blood and I will always protect you.”
I answer without hesitation. “Same.” Even on the days I’ve hated this life, I’ve loved my brother. That’s a truth that can’t ever see changing.
Time passes as I consider everything. As every possibility plays out in my mind.
“Will you leave her alone when she doesn’t take it?” I ask him and I nearly said “if,” not when. I hate that I almost questioned it.
“If she doesn’t take it, even though she has a clear way out,” he says and taps his foot once again, “I think she …”
“What? Say it.”
“She doesn’t come from this world. If she stays, she would be staying for you.”
“When she stays,” I correct him.
“When … when she stays. And everyone would know, she loves you and she isn’t leaving.”
I nod, meeting his level gaze.
Braelynn will stay. She knows it’s best. She knows I’ll protect her. She loves me. She will stay.
DECLAN
An hour passes and then another while I sit alone in the kitchen, monitoring the cameras in the bedroom. Half of me expects her to call her mother or do anything other than what’s she’s done. She’s lying in bed, reading a book, occasionally looking at the door.
I know she’s waiting for me but I’m not ready to confront her yet. There’s truth in what Carter said. Perhaps I haven’t locked her in a cage, but Braelynn is my prisoner in a way and she knows it. There’s no way she doesn’t realize it to some degree.
No amount of emails piling up and even more missed calls can distract myself from that nagging truth in the back of my mind. Even notices from the FBI and emails from the district attorney don’t carry enough weight to stray my thoughts away from Braelynn.
With the anxiousness building I delete message after message and email after email. Time off is only time piled up. Half of these messages could be ticking time bombs and I couldn’t fucking care less.
Jase said he’d step in, but it’s been years since anyone else has handled these matters. The last time I sent someone else to take my place, the received message was that of disrespect.It’s Jase, though, not Nate. Nate showing up to settle … issues, speaks one thing loud and clear: it’s not worth my fucking time. That’s one of the reasons why it’s better for me to handle everything myself. The control, the presence, the authority even are better suited for my position. More than once I’ve attempted to bring Nate in, to take on meets and step up to this position. Not a single time was it received well. For one reason and one reason only, I’ll be condemned to this hell for as long as I live—I’m a fucking Cross brother.
Nate’s not. He’s much like Seth and a few others in our family. He’s a longtime friend who’s proved his loyalty time and again, and therefore earned his reputation and power. Whenever my brothers had to step away in the past, he stepped up. I couldn’t have fucking survived without him there.
Still … he’s not one of us and never will be.
Neither is Braelynn.