“My coworkers don’t get that treatment. Not one of them, and trust me, I asked. Do you know that I went to Scott’s house not long ago to try to talk to him, and he told me he was all filled up in the friends department, but if someone dies, he’ll let me know.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and I keep talking.
“My parents couldn’t stand the sight of me. Tanner dumped me so he could fuck the girls at college, but in his defense, at least he dumped mebeforehe started sleeping around.”
“That’s a bright side.”
“And don’t even get me started on Anthony. That man washorribleto me. At first, I made excuses for him. He had a demanding job, he was stressed out, if I wasn’t so stupid, he wouldn’t be mad. But that wasn’t true. I’mnotstupid! He just got off on hurting me, and I feel like so many people feel that way about me, and I want to know what I did to earn that treatment. What did I do to be last on everyone’s priority list, and to be the one that takes abusive words and behaviors? I’m so fuckingoverit, Luna.”
“Me, too.” She brushes angrily at the tears and fists her hands. “I’m over it for you. It ends now, Sarah. If a woman pours out her coffee, you don’t smile and offer to clean it up. You tell her to get the hell out of the restaurant. And if your brother says something like that to you again, you tell him to go to hell.”
“That won’t mend the relationship,” I mutter.
“Who cares, Sarah?” She opens her arms wide, clearly as frustrated as I am. “Becausehecertainly doesn’t. I don’t care who he is to you, he doesn’t get to speak to you that way. No one does, but definitely not him. You don’t have anabuse mesign on your forehead, but you’ve also been afraid to stick up for yourself, and that has to end, too.”
“You’re right.” I pace the foyer, pulling my hair back in a ponytail. “You’re absolutely right. No more smile and nod for me. If I get fired because I demand respect from the customers, so be it.”
“Gordy won’t fire you.” Luna’s voice is full of confidence. “Not a chance. He loves you, and if you told him this was happening, he wouldn’t stand for it, either. Did you tell him?”
“No. I haven’t told anyone.”
“I love you so much,” Luna says, surprising me. She reaches out for my hand. “Like,so much.You’re kind and smart and so damn talented. But if you have one flaw, it’s that you don’t ever think that you deserve to be treated well. You don’t insist on it in your life. And you deserve it, Sarah.”
“Why? Why do I deserve it? I stayed with a man who mentally and financially abused me foryears.I abandoned my brother and my best friends. My community.”
“And you came home and apologized, and in case you missed it, your community loves you. But all that aside, you deserve respect and love because you’re a damnhuman being.Period. You’re a person, and you have feelings. So, the next time some asshole won’t look you in the eye, you say,hey, my eyes are up here.”
I snort at the idea, but Luna just raises her eyebrows.
“I’m not kidding.” She narrows her eyes and gives me themomlook. The one that says,you’d better listen to me, missy.
“You’re gonna make an excellent mother someday. You have the mom stare down pat.”
Her lips twitch, but she still doesn’t smile.
“I want you to promise me that you’re going to start standing up for yourself because you know that you deserve better.”
“I will.” I swallow and nod, already feeling better. “I have to, because otherwise, I’m going to go crazy. We’re not even in the heart of tourist season yet, Luna. It’s not even that busy, and this is already happening. I can’t go through a whole season of it. I can’t go to work every day, worried and scared that someone is going to be mean to me, so I’m on edge all the time.”
“No one can do that and stay sane. No wonder you’re not sleeping.”
“Do you know what occurred to me this morning?” Feeling moderately better, I return to organizing my supplies. “I was out on the beach, and I found an agate.”
“You always loved that.”
“I know. I still do. Anyway, I remembered that by the time I was about sixteen or so, I’d collected a good-sized jar, full of pretty agates. All different shapes and sizes. And one day, my mom barged into my bedroom, drunk or high as usual, and asked me a question.”
“What did she ask you?”
My eyes find hers. “She wanted me to drive her to the liquor store so she could get more alcohol. And I said no. Dad was passed out somewhere, and he’d beaten the hell out of Scott that morning, just for funsies.”
“God, I hate those people.” She drags her hand down her face. “Like,hate.”
“So, I stuck my little chin out and I said,‘No, Mom. You’ve had enough. Just go to sleep.’”
“And that pissed her off,” Luna guesses.
“Oh, yeah. She saw my jar of agates on my dresser, and because she knew I loved those things, she grabbed it and hurried away from me, ran outside to the dumpster, and threw it in so violently, the jar shattered. She warned me that if I tried to jump in and get the rocks, she’d break my hands into tiny pieces, just like the jar.”