“Thanks, but I have a few things to do at home.”
The sun hasn’t quite set yet when Luna pulls into the driveway to drop me off.
“I’ll wait here, make sure you get inside okay,” she says.
“How chivalrous of you.” I wink at her, then lean over and kiss her cheek. “Thanks, friend. I’ll see you soon.”
“See you.”
I walk to the house and freeze when I’m about a foot away from the door.
I whirl around and run back to Luna’s car as she rolls down her window. “What’s wrong? Did you see a spider?”
“My door is ajar,” I inform her and then swallow hard. “Luna, someone’s been in my house.”
November 20,2007
Dear Diary,
Tanner just broke my fucking heart. He’s home from college for Thanksgiving, and we met at Gordy’s tonight for dinner, and I was so excited to see him! But he broke up with me.
He wants to see other people.
Which is code for he wants tofuckother people.
We’ve been dating for three years. I gave him my virginity; we have been basically attached at the hip for years, and he just dumped me.
I’ve stayed in Huckleberry Bay because of Scott. My parents are getting so much worse with their drug use and the abuse they put on my poor brother, so I’ve stayed close by still living in the same house, even though I’m eighteen, and I could technically move out. He needs me, and I won’t leave him.
But maybe I should have moved with Tanner to college. He could go to school, and I could work, and at least we’d be together, and he wouldn’t be so lonely that he thinks we need to break up so he can see other people at college.
Is he embarrassed of me? He never has been before, but maybe he is.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without him in my life. Besides June and Luna, he’s been everything to me for so long. How am I supposed to move on without him?
We were supposed to get married and leave HB with Scott and live a normal life together.
But now we’re not.
And I don’t know what to do about it. I guess there’s nothing to do about it. I’m not some psycho girl who’s going to chase him down and make him love me.
But man, I wish I could make him love me. I wonder if there are witches nearby like inPractical Magicwho can put a spell on him.
Probably. But that would be wrong, too.
I want him to want me because he really wants me. God, I just want someone to love me! Why am I so unlovable? What’s wrong with me?
TTYL,
Sarah
ChapterSix
Tanner
This is the first quiet night I’ve had at home in…I don’t remember when. It’s a gorgeous spring evening, and I have the accordion glass doors open to the outside, letting in the ocean breeze as I cook in the nearby kitchen.
The indoor/outdoor space is what sold me on this house a couple of years ago. Granted, I can’t use it year-round, but when the weatherisnice enough to open it up, it’s damn satisfying.