I’m ready to move on and be happy. I just have to find the courage to follow my heart and tell Alex how I feel.
CHAPTER12
Alex
“Hey, got a minute?”
I look up from the document I was reading to find Sadie standing in my doorway. I toss my pen on the desk, a smile taking over my face the instant I see her.
“Of course, come in.”
She softly shuts the door behind her. “Sorry I didn’t make an appointment. I thought Beth would be out there but she’s not.”
“She had a doctor’s appointment. You never need an appointment to see me.” I stand up, intending to move toward her.
“Just stay there.”
“Oookay.” I eye her suspiciously, sitting back down in my chair. That’s when I notice the worried expression marring her face. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, kind of.” She wrings her hands as she starts to pace. “I talked to my mom, and she’s right, I need to just say what I feel and go after what I want, you know? Not be scared. I’m always so worried about everyone else’s feelings but my own and how everyone else is going to perceive me.”
“Sadie.” I say her name calmly, but she continues pacing as if she didn’t hear me.
“I think I am scared to face what I feel though. It’s scary to realize that you’re almost out of control with what your heart wa—”
“Sadie.” My tone is stern this time, and she stops in place, her head snapping up as her eyes shift to look at me. “You’re not making a lot of sense right now, sweetheart. What’s going on?”
Her face is expressionless as she walks straight toward me, rounding my desk and grabbing my tie to pull my mouth to hers. Her tongue demands entrance as she tugs on my tie, the kiss growing deeper by the second as she settles herself in my lap.
“I need more,” she groans as she paws at me.
“More what, honey?”
“More of your tongue. More of your mouth. More…you. More everything.”
I lean back, resting my hands on her forearms. “Sadie, wait. What are you saying? You want sex right now? Here? On my desk?”
Her shoulders fall. “No. I mean yes, but I know we said we would—or that I’d figure stuff out on my own. I just don’t know how to do that.”
I let my hands settle on her waist, “I wish I could do it for you, but I think you just need to figure out what you’re feeling and what you want.”
She slowly climbs out of my lap as she nods her head. “Yeah, I think I’ve done that.”
“And you know what you want?”
“Are you friends with anyone else—like how we’re friends?” She motions between us, her brows raised. I know what she’s asking, even though she’s not asking it.
I smile and shake my head. “No, Sadie, you are the only woman I’ve touched in…” I look up at the ceiling, trying to remember how long it’s been. “Well, let’s just say a really long time. Has that been bothering you? I’m sorry, I should have made that very clear.”
“I mean, it does make me feel better, but we also never talked about what this was or if we were exclusive or not.”
“Do you want to talk about what this is or what you want it to be?” She nods. “Okay.” I grab her hand, bringing it to my lips for a gentle kiss. “Let’s talk tonight, okay? I’ll come get you before I leave for the day.”
“Thank you.” She smiles, her shoulders dropping with relief.
I hate that she’s been worried or stressed about my intentions—aboutus. If I’d thought she was ready or wanted to hear it, I would have told her the other day when I came over that I was in love with her. It was the whole reason I went to see her. I couldn’t bear the thought of another night without her being mine, but when I saw the distraught look on her face and heard Tim’s bullshit, I wasn’t about to pile on to her stress.
“Thank you for coming up to see me. I love seeing you throughout the day. Always puts a smile on my face.” I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “I’ll see you in a few hours, beautiful.”