“That’s more accurate.”
Caleb and Karlie pretend to faint, and Ariel fans her face and reaches for her drink.
“So then, we ended up stuck in an elevator together last night for like four hours, drinking rum.”
They stare at me with confused expressions on their faces, so I backtrack a bit and explain how we ended up in the situation to begin with.
“But right before the power came back on, I ended up in his lap, and he got hard, and…holy shit! I accidentally touched it.”
“How do you accidentally touch a man’s rock-hard kielbasa?”
“It’s a little fuzzy because I was very drunk, but from what I can remember, my tights made my legs slippery, I was barefoot, so my feet were slippery too, and, well, it was just a whole ordeal.” I start laughing as memories from last night come back to me.
“But nothing happened? He didn’t kiss you?”
“No,” I reply to Karlie. “But he hinted that he wanted to. Basically said something about how he shouldn’t want what he’s wanting and something about coming upstairs to my place. Oh god! I forgot I invited him upstairs.” I cover my face with my hands.
“The real question here is, areyougoing to do something?”
“With my boss? Hell no! I wouldn’t know what to do with all…that.”
Ariel laughs. “I can think of a few things.”
“I think you’re crazy for not at least trying, but this is still good news!” Karlie says, grabbing my shoulders like Caleb did a minute ago.
“It is?”
“Yes! You’re clearly able to flirt with another man and not pine away for pencil-dick Tim. I think tonight would be the perfect time to get back out there.”
“No, I’m not ready to date yet.”
“I didn’t saydate,sweetie. I mean go dance with a hottie, make out, find a fuckbuddy or something.”
“Yes, I like this plan,” Ariel says, nodding.
“In fact, let’s find someone right now.” Caleb slides off his stool and starts looking around the bar. “Oh, what about him? He’s got that sexy older man muscle thing going on.”
I look at where he’s pointing, “I think you have a better chance of picking him up than me.”
“True,” he agrees, waving at the guy and giving a flirty wink before returning his attention to the rest of the bar. I wave off one suggestion after the next while finishing a glass of sangria, against my better judgment.
“Him!” Caleb suddenly shouts, sounding confident.
“Who?” I ask, my vision blocked by a group of people on the dance floor.
“Oh, he’s fine!” Ariel says. “Look at the way he’s staring at her, like he’s the big bad wolf. Yum!”
“You guys are crazy, you know that? I need another drink.” I slide off my stool just as the crowd parts and I see who they’re pointing at.
Sitting alone in the back corner is Mr. Snow.
“That’s him!” I whisper-shout, spinning back around to face my friends. “That’s my fucking boss! Why the hell is he here?”
“That’sMr. Candy Cane? Hot damn, I would have devoured that man,” Karlie says as she casually leans against the table and undresses him with her eyes.
“No, that’s not what we’re calling him. Stop it! Everyone! Turn back around! We have to pay the check and get out of here.”
I start scrambling to gather my purse while attempting to pull down my barely there top and pull up my barely there skirt, trying to hide all the bare skin I’m showing, but the clothes are refusing to cooperate.