It’s all too much for me to handle. I hate him, but I love him. He lied to me, but I want to forgive him. I want to slap him and walk away, but I also want to kiss him and hold him tight.
I guess ten years of thinking someone is dead really fucks with your mind when they show up unannounced. It’s even worse than that. It’s worse because he walked away and didn’t want me.
Knowing that he left and wasn’t really killed changes everything. I need to get away and think before I react and regret my rash decisions.
“You don’t get it. You never did.” I only have so much willpower, and here in his arms after so long apart, he still feels familiar, still feels like he’s mine. That willpower is waning, and I don’t have the strength to hold on to it. Instead, I feel the urge to show him I’m not opposed to it. I look up at him and press my lips to his. My hands are still gripping his shirt, and his mouth welcomes mine, parting to make access for our tongues.
He sends an electric current through me like no one else ever could. The throbbing between my legs is almost immediate, and it catches me off guard. I have tried chasing this feeling–fuck, I really tried. With Matt, and more recently, men that I have gone on a few dates with here and there, but none of them could bring me to my knees this way. This is what I have been missing in my life.
I stifle a moan as he holds my face and returns my kiss. Jesus, how can a kiss be so hot?
Despite how good it still feels to be in his arms, I push away from him and take a step back. “Don’t you see I was hooked on you? On how you made me feel. I would have gotten over anything you’d done with just an apology. You ruined that. The trust I had in you to be there for me? It’s gone, Dominic.”
“I know.” His eyes are filled with sadness and he forces back his own tears, ones that I couldn’t hold in myself. “I wasted ten years. I’m sorry, I was such an idiot.”
“I can’t do this.” I turn and hurry away. This time, he doesn’t follow me, and I am so grateful.