“I am, Mac. Truly.” I flash him a warm smile. A cheerful smile. A true Andi smile. It feels foreign to smile so widely and brightly. I haven’t done it since the accident.
Sure, I have plenty to be happy for. I have a doting husband, an amazing job, and good friends. There’s even lots of money in my bank account, too. And it isn’t just Matt’s old money. We have a signed prenup, so the money I have is all mine from my hard work.
Earned the old-fashioned, hard-core, strong work ethic, way. Being a partner with Todd at the law firm brings me so much money, I can’t even spend it fast enough. Though all I ever wanted in life was to never be poor again, the money isn’t why I am visiting Mac.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” Mac says. “But it’s… it’s been so long. Tell me what’s going on, Andi.”
“I’m pregnant!” His eyes widen in shock as he processes what I’ve told him. “You’re right. I haven’t been happy. I’ve… well, I care about Matt. But he isn’t Colby. What Colby and I had, I don’t think I could ever have again. I think that makes me a bad person, Mac. To scoop up and claim Matt as mine when he could have found someone who makes him feel the way I did for Colby. But I needed him. He pulled me out of those dark days, and now, he’s given me the gift of a second chance.”
Mac hugs me again. This time, he squeezes me tightly and kisses my hair. “Look how far you’ve come, Andi,” he whispers. “I’m just so happy that I have the old you back. I’ve missed that smile. That genuine smile.”
He clears his throat and then shrugs. “For what it’s worth, Matt loves you, Andi. He looks at you that way. And I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think you’re trying to move on. You have moved on and you’re making Matt happy. It’s different when someone… well, when someone leaves the way Colby did. It’s not like things ended because one of you fell out of love. He was a bad guy, Andi, and we don’t even know if he’s alive.”
I wince at the mention of Colby’s living status. It’s been three years, and I still don’t believe he’s dead. I still call the morgue and hospitals looking for him. Matt understands. At least he tries to. He thinks Colby is dead, so he lets me do it. I can’t imagine he would let me, if he believed Colby was alive, and could still take me away from him.
Matt has been my savior in all of this. He’s kept me standing through the darkness, and I would be lost without him. He doesn’t have a clue that I wasn’t really happy until recently, because he never knew me before. He just figured I was quiet or shy.
This pregnancy has been another saving grace. It may be a band-aid slapped on a larger wound that needs attention, but it’s mine. Matt and this baby are my family now, and I will do anything to protect them.