Thelastmonthhas been hell. I almost blew my cover, so I haven’t been around Andi. I didn’t want the MC to trail me and figure out that I had a woman in my life. I’ve been working overtime to prove myself and the last thing I needed was for it all to go to hell. The stress of keeping one step in front of them means I’m also not sleeping much.
Despite my busy month, Andi has been on my mind nonstop, and I’ve had to force myself to stay away. It’s been near impossible. Sleeping with her snuggled against me was the best night of sleep I’ve had since being undercover. I need more of it. The night after we’d had sex, the pillow she slept with still smelled of peppermint, and had my senses in overdrive. I’d almost gotten out of bed to head for the bar, but stopped myself. I didn’t want anyone from the MC finding her, and I’d been followed home after a fight with one of the members.
When I walked into Mac’s and saw her sitting on a stool, her back turned to me, my heart skipped. Seeing her face scrunch up in anger, and her hands ball into tiny fists, was adorable. Not that she was angry, because that felt like shit. But the way her cheeks turned red, and how she put up a fight. I deserved that shit drink she made me. It took some sweet talking, but she finally accepted my apology.
At the beach, I climb off my bike, following her down the boardwalk. She waits for me to catch up and takes off her sneakers so she can walk on the beach. Her arm hooks through mine, and she leans her head on my shoulder as we walk. She feels so comfortable and every touch she gives me lights my soul on fire. Every few feet, she stops to pick up seashells, and kicks water towards my feet whenever she stands back up.
For the first time since my assignment, things feel normal. I want to savor the moment, because I know it’s wrong to drag Andi into the pits of hell with me. Knowing that I will have to let her go when this is all over makes it hard to allow myself to fall for her. I’d always thought the hardest part of being undercover would be missing my family. My little brother, Terry, is still in high school and I’ll have to miss his graduation. I can’t risk being caught with them. Though it sucks, it doesn’t come close to what will happen when I disappear from Andi’s life.
I hate myself, knowing that, eventually, I’m going to cause her a whirlwind of heartache.
She sits on the sand, crosses her legs, and leans back on her hands. Those brown eyes are sparkling as she smiles at me. I let out a nervous sniffle, wipe my nose, and sit beside her. “Thanks for forgiving me.”
She leans forward, brings her knees to her chest, and wraps her arms around them. “I guess I have a lot of practice with forgiving people.”
Could my heart break from a simple sentence? The sadness in her voice brings out the protectiveness in me, wanting to save her from the pain she seems to have. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me. “What does that mean?”
She whispers, “nothing.”
It definitely is something, but her watery eyes have me leaving it alone. I remind myself I shouldn’t get close to her, anyway. This is going to stop when my undercover detail ends. All because I gave her my fake name. How could I have been so fucking stupid? Leave it to me to find a girl I actually care about when I can’t be in a serious relationship.
The desire to make her feel better consumes me, so I stand up and pull my shirt over my head, then slide my jeans off so I’m standing in boxers. Andi’s eyes roam over my body. She cocks her head to the side. “What are you doing?”
I kneel beside her and start using my hands to shovel a shallow hole. “Come on,” I say. “Help me.”
“Okay, is this where you’re burying my body?” She jokes, but kneels and starts digging. “I think this is a little too public. Are you trying to get caught?”
“You’re gonna do the burying.”
She grins as she continues to scoop sand. She is pulling the last bit of sand over my feet, so that I’m buried to my shoulders and sand is caked to every crevice of me. I’m really going to regret this when we’re off the beach. It’ll take a week to get the gritty sand off my body. But it makes her smile and laugh, so it’s worth it.
“Hold on.” She hops up and runs towards the water. She hurries back with more shells and a stick. Dropping to her knees, she’s back to work, decorating near my feet.
“Are you turning me into a mermaid?” She has given me a tail, using the stick to carve out details, and now she’s placing the shells along my legs.
“A merman.” She stands up and snaps a picture with her phone. “Perfect.” As she nods appreciatively, she drops onto her stomach beside me. Her face is right next to mine, and then she’s kissing me. It’s only a peck, but it is just long enough that I could taste her cherry Chapstick. I’ve missed her lips.
“What have you been up to since I last saw you?”
Andi presses her cheek to the sand and closes her eyes, using her forearms as a pillow. “I’m working as a paralegal in an office, two days a week. Now that finals are finished, I’m going to pick up some online classes to fast track my degree and next week I start in the office full time. Once I pass the bar, Todd wants to hire me as a lawyer.”
“That is amazing. Congratulations. I’m proud of you.”
“Can I ask you something?” She hesitates, and I know she is worried about something.
“What’s up?”
She eyes me nervously and sits up, swinging her legs underneath her. She settles with her legs crossed and folds her hands in her lap. As she clears her throat, she looks directly at me. “Mac says you’re in an MC. Is that true?”
“And how would Mac know about biker clubs?” I raise my eyebrow. Rule number one about lying, always answer a question with another question.
“Mac knows a lot about a lot of things.” Her sassy tone is back, and she cocks an eyebrow. “He has connections here and there. If he knows something, it’s probably true.”
I don’t respond. Instead, I look out to the ocean.
She huffs. “You plead the fifth, huh? Makes sense. You come into the bar all busted up. They’re not bar fights. It’s something more, isn’t it?”
“And so what if I was? You wouldn’t wanna be my old lady. You’re too- you don’t belong in this world.”