Don’t believe it,I told myself.He’s a fucking good actor. You know this. You can’t fall for itagain.
“Leave,” Trina said, crossing herarms.
He nodded and lifted his palms. “Don’t worry. I’m out.” His gaze flickered between my eyes for a second longer. Then he dragged in a deep breath and turned away. “Bye,Laney.”
With that, he wasgone.
3
Hunter
Isteppedinto the rain with gritted teeth, heading for the car. There was a horrible feeling inside me. Like someone had driven an ax into my chest and split my fucking heart in two. Every muscle in my body was tense, strung so tight that I was close to snapping. I felt like a drug addict coming down after a binge, unable to get more of his chosendrug.
It wasn’t the worst day of my life, for obvious reasons, but it still ranked pretty damn highly. Just this morning, I was buzzing with excitement, ready to walk into school with my arm slung around Laney. Ready to crush my lips on hers in front of everyone so they knew she was mine and minealone.
Now the day had taken the worst possible turn, and I was stuck out here in the car, listening to the rain pounding on the windshield while Laney cried in a dingy coffeeshop.
She wouldn’t even look at me when I entered the place a minute ago, but I could still see her. Her eyes were filled with so much sadness. The rest of her, too. It radiated off her, pouring all through the room and wrapping around me in dark tendrils, gripping my heart in a coldvise.
I wished she would jump up and hit me, kick me, slice into me with her words. Anything that would mean she was at least acknowledging me. But she didn’t. She just sat there looking utterly defeated, refusing to meet my gaze. I wasn’t sure if she’d even taken in any of what I had tosay.
I knew I shouldn’t have followed her and her friends into town after I saw them leaving campus—Trina had made it very clear to me earlier that I needed to give Laney time and space to process the horror of what happened in the auditorium—but I couldn’t stay away. Not without letting her know that it wasn’t me behind the wholething.
It was obvious why she thought it was me, and I couldn’t blame her for that. She trusted me enough to tell me about the sickening video from her past, and within two days the whole school had seen it. If I were her, I’d think it was metoo.
But itwasn’t.
There was a time in my life when I may have considered sinking that low to get back at her, but that ended on Sunday. Now I knew the truth about her, and I would never hurt her like that.Never.
Besides, if I actuallywassome sort of fucking sociopath who wanted to paint her as the school slut for some reason, I could’ve just sneaked a camera into her dorm room last night and filmed her when we went for round three. But I didn’t, and I had no desire to do such a thing, because I cared abouther.
I sucked down a ragged breath, and my shoulders hunched as a cold sense of powerlessness flooded through me. One of the worst parts about all of this was that Laney was suffering, and I couldn’t even comfort her because she thought I caused that suffering. It fucking killed me. My fingers ached with the need to stroke her hair and pull her close to me, but a thick, silent wall had gone up between us as soon as she turned to look at me in the auditorium and decided I wasguilty.
Trina wasn’t helping, either. She steadfastly refused to let me within five feet of Laney, like a big yapping guard dog. It was the same way she used to be with Lindsay if she ever got wind of someone bothering her. I knew she thought she was just being a good friend, but holy fuck, it was irritating as all hell. I just wanted a few minutes alone with Laney to explain that I didn’t do this shittoday.
She had to know I would never hurt her likethat.
In the end, though, I guess I had to acknowledge that it was still partially my fault, because I put her on that fucking blacklist all those weeks ago. Someone was defying my orders and refusing to stop tormenting her now, and while they were responsible for today’s vile display in the auditorium, I was responsible for making them hate Laney in the first place. It never would have happened if I didn’t try my best to wreck her life and turn everyone againsther.
Yup. Myfault.
I closed my eyes and dragged in a deep breath. A thousand little things about Laney ran through my head in an instant. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh. Her floral scent, her soft curves, her plump pink lips. The way she wrinkled her brow in chem class when she calculated formulas, and the way she bit her lip in concentration when she rowed out on the lake. Everything about her was fucking amazing. A brilliant mixture of sweetness, light, and quietstrength.
The thought that I may have diminished that light in her had my chest aching. I’d never wished to turn back time as much as I did now. The things I did to her in the not-so-distant past. The way I treated her. Every mistake I made. All of it was unforgivable, and the guilt and shame threatened to eat mealive.
We may have made up the other day and tried to move past it, but it didn’t matter, because it was all coming back to bite me in the assnow.
Hard.
I fucking failed her. Dismally. I told her I would end the bullying, but it had ramped up instead, completely crushingher.
I opened my eyes, put my hands on the steering wheel and held tight, knuckles turning white. “Shit,” I muttered, still breathing deeply as I tried to get a hold of the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions in mymind.
In the past, I would’ve smashed my hands against the dashboard or whatever other surface I could find until my hands bled. But not now. Not since that talk with Laney onSunday.
She made me want to do better. Bebetter. Part of that involved taking control of my anger so I didn’t wind up like my father, because I never wanted to scare anyone the way he scared me and my siblings when we werekids.
EspeciallyLaney.