I swallowed hard, knitting my fingers in my lap. “Well… I want to help you too.”
“With what?”
“Your search,” I said. “I want to help you find out what really happened to your sister.”
“Why?”
“Because you shouldn’t have to go through it alone. You should have help from people who believe you.”
“I honestly think you’re the only person who would ever believe me,” he muttered.
“Then it’s settled. You’re stuck with me,” I said, giving him a tiny wry smile.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “So even after everything I did to you… even when you could totally blow up my life and wreck it forever… you’re going to help me.”
“Yes.”
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing softly. “I really don’t deserve this, Laney.”
“How many times are you going to say that?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Until you believe it, I guess.”
I held out a hand. “Hunter, listen. I’m going to help you, okay? Even if you don’t think you deserve that help. It’s going to happen.”
“Okay.” He grasped my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. “Thank you.”
We fell silent for another long moment. Then I pulled away and brought my fingers up to Lindsay’s necklace. “I think you should have this back now,” I said.
I moved my hair out of the way and carefully unclasped it. Then I held it out to Hunter.
His eyes tightened as he stared down at the pendant. Then he raised his gaze to mine. “Thanks.”
“It’s okay. It was never really mine.”
“What will you tell your mom?” he asked. “She was probably really excited to find it in that pawn shop for you, right?”
“Yeah, she was. Because it was an L pendant, she thought it was some sort of sign from the universe that she should get it for me,” I said. I hesitated for a second, twisting my lips. “I’ll just have to tell her I lost it. She’ll be upset, but she’ll get past it eventually.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault.” I gave him a tight smile. “Anyway… what happens now?”
Hunter’s forehead creased. “Right now, I think you should take a shower, get dressed and go home. You could use a decent rest. Then we can talk again tomorrow.”
“I don’t have any clothes here. You sliced them up.”
“I’ll get some from my mom’s closet while you’re in the bathroom. You’re about the same size.” He stood and looked down at me. “And just so you know—if you go home, think about everything, and change your mind… I’ll understand.”
“I won’t.”
He gave me a sad smile. “Like I said… just think about it. I honestly don’t think I deserve a shred of mercy from you.” He turned and dipped his head toward the left. “Anyway, my bathroom’s that way. There’s a cupboard in there with clean towels and robes.”
Five minutes later, I was standing in the shower, eyes closed as hot water streamed over me. The cuts on my legs stung a bit, but I barely registered it. I was too lost in my thoughts; too lost in the fog of my desire to help Hunter.
A small, distant part of my mind already knew it wasn’t just a desire to help him. It was a desire for him. The same desire I’d always experienced when I saw him, even when I tried my best to squash it.
I knew if I explained the entire situation to anyone else, they would tell me I was crazy. They would tell me to report him to the police, toss him in prison, and make them throw away the key. But I couldn’t. The thought of hurting him now made me feel physically sick.