I thought the blacklist would run her off campus within a week, but the bitch hung in there, stubbornly refusing to leave. Now I was running out of patience. I was running out of time, too, because after today’s confrontation, she might already be packing her shit and preparing to get the hell out of here so that she’d never have to face the music.
If I didn’t step things up right now, I could lose my chance forever.
I turned and stormed out of Royal Hall, heading toward my car with clenched fists. I couldn’t let Laney get away with what she did. Not now. Not ever.
It wasn’t just her fault that my sister was dead. It was also her fault that I had to spend my days riddled with guilt, replaying my last conversation with Lindsay on a torturous loop in my head.
I could’ve gone home that night a year ago and told her how sorry I was for all the terrible shit I said and did to her. Instead I went home and found her on the ground with her head smashed in and every bone in her body broken.
In that moment, a black cloud descended upon me. It hung over my head every single minute of every single day, sucking all the light out of my life, and I knew it would never go away or let me forgive myself for the things I said.
Now I had to live with a different kind of guilt as well. The kind that seeped in every time I looked at Laney and felt those dark stirrings.
I kept picturing my sister’s ghost hovering over me everywhere I went, arms folded and eyes glittering with malice. How could you? she constantly whispered to me. How could you touch that girl after what she did to me? How could you want her?
A lump appeared in my throat as I got into my car, and I gritted my teeth and smashed a hand against the steering wheel until my palm turned purple and red. I didn’t wince at the pain. I deserved to feel every bit of it, because I was a fucking disgusting person. An utterly shameful piece of shit.
I was the kind of guy who wanted to fuck his sister’s killer.
Last week, I convinced myself that it was simply part of my new plan—make Laney fall for me by sweet-talking and seducing her so that she might eventually feel the urge to confess her sins to me out of guilt. But of course things didn’t go that way.
For one, she was playing me all along; something I should’ve known but was too blinded by lust to figure out before it was too late.
Secondly, my feelings toward her that night weren’t just part of a calculated plan. I hated the little bitch, truly fucking wished for her to spend her days rotting in a prison cell for what she did… but somewhere beneath that, a small part of me wanted her.
Okay, that was a lie.
It wasn’t a small part of me. It was huge, with dark, sticky strands of desire weaving their way through my system, wrapping themselves around my insides and growing thicker and deadlier with every day that passed. Especially when I remembered Laney straddling my lap last Friday night, murmuring in my ear about how she’d never touched a guy before me. How she was still so innocent in that way. So terrified of going any further yet so desperate to let me be the one to guide her.
I’d never wanted anyone so fucking much.
Earlier this morning, it reached a point where I dared to consider having this exact thought: what did I want more? Revenge, or her?
I immediately hated myself for thinking it. How could I entertain the notion of being with Laney after what she did? How could I betray my little sister in such an appalling way?
Yet here I was, doing exactly that.
I gritted my teeth and curled my sore hand into a fist, hoping the pain from the movement would ease the aching desire inside me.
It didn’t help.
My stomach clenched as tendrils of need coiled in me, sending white-hot heat straight to my cock. I let out a groan. No matter what I did, no matter how much guilt I felt… I couldn’t stop wanting Laney. I needed to feel this right now. Needed her.
It was ironic because when I first saw her, I was convinced I could break her. Easily. Now it was starting to look like she might break me first.
Fuck, maybe she already had…
She was like a goddamned succubus with those mesmerizing eyes, stunning features, and perfect curves. She’d probably cream her panties if she knew how much I was suffering because of her right now.
My sister’s ghostly-white face suddenly appeared in the forefront of my mind, and I heard her voice, ringing out as clear as day.
She killed me, but you’re choosing her anyway. You’re a sick, twisted cunt.
Guilt and shame sank black talons into my chest again, deeper than ever before. I drew in a shaky breath and pulled my hand away from my zipper, mind spinning like crazy.
I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to get my head back in the game and stick to my plan, even though I’d thrown a huge fucking wrench in it ten minutes ago.
I had to take Laney, and I had to do it tonight.
Before it was too late.