I sit here, looking at all the boxes. Boxes full of memories, of family memories, and I close my eyes. I allow pain to set in for two minutes. That’s all it can have me for. We are still all here, alive and breathing, able to figure out a way to live through the hurt, rebuild our lives.
Collin Abraham doesn’t have that choice.
I walk up the stairs and cover my little girl with Bingo, and she doesn’t stir. She does smile in her sleep and pull that blanket up to her nose, the silky part, just like she did as a baby.
?
I’m on my knees, surrounded by memories, when Ava comes down the stairs, wrapped in Bingo.
“What are you doing, Dad?” She calls meDaddywhen she’s upset or trying to get out of trouble, but right now, I’m Dad.
“I was trying to find Bingo for you.” I push away a pile beside me and pat the floor. “Did it help?”
She nods. “But I thought we sent this to Aunt Ally when she was pregnant?”
“Yeah, apparently, she sent it back.” I wink.
“So, you lied to me?” Ava raises her eyebrows in mock surprise.
“Not lied. No, never.”
She laughs. “Then what do you call it?”
I lean back against the bench, look at her, and smile. “As your father, I thought it was in your best interest not to walk into third grade with a blankie. Didn’t want you to get picked on.”
She laughs.
“So, I devised a plan.”
“You devised a plan, huh?”
“Sure did. Very strategic and well-thought-out plan. When I mentioned to you that your aunt was having a baby and really needed a blanket, you weren’t as receptive to the idea as I thought you’d be.”
She pulls the blanket even closer. “I loved Bingo. Still do.”
“I know, but sometimes, you just gotta move on.”
“I know.” She looks at the pile of sports awards in front of me and laughs.
“Okay, fine. Maybe you just have to shelve it.” I wink.
“So, you shelved Bingo?”
“I did. I wanted to make sure you could someday have it again, if you wanted.” I reach over and tug at the corner of Bingo. “You came to me three days later and handed her over. Tears in your eyes and a smile on your face, you said to me, ‘Okay, Daddy, we can send it. Maybe her baby can love it now.’ I swear you almost brought a grown man to his knees. But it was a great life lesson.”
“How’s that?”
“If you no longer have the time for something you love, maybe someone else can love it better.”
She rests her head on my shoulder.
“Ava, Harper is going to be okay. She has the whole Ross family, that rock star boy, and you. It’ll take a lot of time, but as a father, I know Collin would want her to—”
“I can’t imagine losing you.”
“You won’t, baby girl. Not yet, anyway.”
“Why didn’t Collin wait for the police? Why didn’t he—”