He nodded. “Does MacNiven know the guy? He better treat you good.”
She laughed delightedly. “I’ll tell Otto that.”
The doors opened and someone else got in, so they rode the rest of the way down in silence. When they stepped into the building’s lobby, Lottie slipped her arm through his. “I was married for a short time to a wonderful man. He was everything to me, but he died tragically young. We had a son, and I had my work, so I focused on those things. And then when my son had Rachel, I focused on her. I didn’t realize until just recently that I’d let life pass me by without really living it. I’d let so many years go by, just being complacent. That’s why I’m at Winners Inc.To learn to live again.” She glanced at him. “Your turn.”
“My turn?”
“Tell me a truth.”
He shrugged. “I’ve told you everything already. What else is there? I grew up in LA and then dropped out of college to play football in Europe.”
“I hardly imagine that that’s it.” She looked at him askance. “You must love football.”
He shrugged. “It’s a job.”
“See.” She pointed at him. “That’s a story in itself. Does Jamie know how you feel about football?”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “How I feel doesn’t matter. I do my job.”
“It’s not the same as doing your job with passion.” She pointed at his face. “Jamie never had that pinched expression as he talked about playing, even when he was tired of the game.”
“What pinched expression?” He realized he was scowling, which only made him scowl more.
Lottie patted his arm. “What’s something you’re passionate about?”
He said the first thing that came to his mind. “Jules.”
“Aww.” Lottie beamed at him. “Do you love her?”
He thought about the way his heart beat in time with hers, how he was happy just to hold her in his arms and listen to her breathe (in a non-serial killer way). How he felt when she took him home to Louisa and Connor for dinner (that might as well have been meeting her parents) and how she got him so easily.
And then there was the physical aspects of their relationship. Sex had always been good, but he’d never imaginedthis. She flipped his switch in a way he’d never known it could be flipped.
“Based on the look on your face,” Lottie said, “I can guess what the answer is.”
He looked at his mentor. “I love her more than I realized I could love a woman. It’s not like how I expected it to be.”
“How is it?” she asked with plain curiosity.
“Easy.” He searched for another word. “Happy. Ortiz, my best friend, used to describe how it was with his wife and I couldn’t picture it, but now I’m like, yeah, I get it.”
“Your parents’ relationship wasn’t easy?”
“My parents didn’t have a relationship. My mom got pregnant while she was working in Ghana and decided to keep me. As far as I know, she didn’t have any contact with him after that until I was seventeen and decided I wanted to get to know him. I thought she didn’t understand the first thing about being a man and that he could teach me things.”
“As she’s a woman, you were likely right,” Lottie said drily as she led him down the sidewalk.
“No, but she knew a lot more about things than I gave her credit for.” He looked at Lottie. “Hindsight is a bitch.”
“What does she think about what’s going on in London?”
“I haven’t spoken to her in several years. She didn’t like that I dropped out of school to play football. We didn’t have anything to say to each other, so we stopped trying.” He shook his head. “If she knew about my situation, she’d smack me upside the head.”
“Hmm.” Lottie was silent, as if processing all that. Then she said, “Here we are,” as she led him to a small park. It was mostly walkways lined with trees and bushes but there was a small patch of grass to one side. “And no people. How perfect.”
“Probably because it’s the dead of winter.”
“It’s beautifully sunny,” she replied, lifting her smile to the sky. “You can taste crystal promise in the air.”