“That’s not what I was concerned about.”
His hand shifted to my belly, and I felt a heaviness within me. I swallowed nervously at his inevitable question.
“Are you on anything? If you’re not, are you okay with the possibility of falling pregnant?”My lip quivered, and I quickly averted my gaze. “What’s the matter?” Tate squeezed my chin and made me meet his gaze. “Are you crying?”
I rolled my eyes as I blinked away my tears.Stupid tears.“I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t get pregnant. To get pregnant, I’d have to have a uterus, and I don’t.” I couldn’t help the emptiness in my tone.
Tate got to his feet incredibly fast and backed away from me like I was poison. “How can you not have a uterus?”
“I lost it to an infection when I was twenty-one.”
With a huff of frustration, Tate ran his hand over his face. “But I want kids, Lou. I want kids with you someday. I want to be a father.”
I lifted my shoulders in a helpless shrug. “I’m sorry, but it’s impossible.”
“Who am I supposed to pass the family business to if we can’t have a child?” Tate spat.
In that instant, shame was replaced with anger. “That’s why you want a kid? You don’t want to be a dad. You want a mini-you to train up to follow inDaddy’s footsteps?” I tore away from him and began to toss on my clothing.
“I want to be a dad too!”
“What if we had a kid, and they didn’t want any part of Rawlins Industries? What if they wanted to be like their mother, or what if they wanted to follow their own path? Even if I could have kids, I never would if it meant you would decide their fate for them. Why would your kid have to be the one to take over the company anyway? Any of your brothers’ kids would be just as entitled,” I argued.
“Goddammit, Lou! This is important to me. Don’t you get that?”
“Oh, yes, and that’s all that matters. After all, every so-called king needs an heir. So, that means I’m damaged goods, doesn’t it? What’s the fucking point of it all?” I shoved him hard as I stormed toward the doorway of the capsule.
Tate stormed after me. “Lou, don’t you dare leave! I’m taking you back to the house.”
“I can get a taxi, asshole! Go to the office.”
With tears streaming down my face, I raced from the London Eye.
Mascara tracks from the tears lined my cheeks, my feet and legs were freezing, and my hair was flying all around.
Instead of catching a cab, I walked across Westminster Bridge and along Horse Guard Road past the Churchill War Rooms. As I reached the Horse Guard Parade, I slowed my pace, hoping I might catch sight of any equine life within the building, but it appeared deserted. I lowered my head again and went on my way.
The sobbing was out of control by the time I reached the house and was exacerbated by the realization that I didn’t have a key. So I went in search of the doorbell.Did they have doorbells in places this fancy?When I finally located it, I pressed on it like a madwoman. I wanted nothing more than to get inside and clean myself up.
Eric answered the door and was surprised to see my forlorn self on the doorstep.
“Don’t tell me. I look like some street urchin begging for handouts from the filthy rich, right?” I said when I saw his concerned expression.
“Lou, what are you doing? You look like you’ve been to hell and back. Where’s Tate?” Eric peered around me in search of his brother.
“He’s the last person I want around me right now.” I tried to push past Eric.
He caught hold of me and pulled me to him. “Hey.” He kissed my hair and rocked me gently. “Whatever happened? You can tell me while you have a warm bath, okay?”
He took me to the ensuite in his bedroom, and once I was in the warm water, all I could do was stare at the white tiles on the wall until I went cross-eyed. I startled a little when Eric sunk into the bath with me and wiped a washcloth over my face. “What happened, sweetheart?”
Tears welled in my eyes again, and I swiped them away.
“Lou-Lou?”