Edwin swallowed heavily at this sudden and quite unexpected show of affection. He had been introduced to the Earl, but the man usually kept to himself. Lydia had already explained that this was simply how he was. It was her mother who was the social butterfly, who was always chatting away with everyone. Her husband was the opposite of her — pleasant, but he preferred to keep to himself. From the little that Edwin knew of him, that much was obvious.
“You are most kind to say that.” Edwin smiled.
“I am merely saying the truth,” the Earl said, giving Edwin a firm handshake after which he released him from his grip.
The rest of the dinner passed in pleasant chit chat, and it seemed that the reason for this dinner was almost forgotten. It made Edwin believe that everyone, just like his own mother, expected this would happen sooner or later. As it turned out, it happened sooner. After dinner, the girls retired to the drawing room while Edwin remained behind at the dining table with the man of the house as custom dictated.
Edwin felt a little awkward. He felt as if he were lying to this man, who had been nothing but kind and welcoming towards him. He reminded himself why he and Lydia were doing this. They needed to be allowed to spend time together, and this was the only way they could do that without someone jumping to the wrong conclusion. This way, her reputation would be safe from the possible harm that would arise out of dalliance with a bachelor.
The Earl got up and proceeded to pour them both another glass of sherry.
“You know, when the girls told me that Lydia was socializing with a young gentleman, I did not pay much attention to that,” he admitted, bringing a glass over to Edwin. “Lydia is a smart young lady. She always knew what she was doing. But I realized that, in this case, perhaps she was spending too much time with the young gentleman in question.”
“I assure you that I never meant any disrespect towards your daughter,” Edwin assured the man. “It has always been my sworn duty to keep her reputation intact.”
He actually meant every word of this. This wasn’t a lie. He had been thinking about this even before his mother pointed out that people were talking about them spending too much time together without being anything other than friends. It simply didn’t make any sense.
Edwin had never been the one to care much about what thetonhad to say. Their opinion was not a relevant item in his life. However, he knew that a lie might destroy a young lady’s reputation very easily. Once destroyed, that reputation would never again be untarnished. Her chances of marriage would be ruined.
Her chances of marriage to someone else,a little voice inside of him reminded him of something he didn’t like. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of Lydia marrying anyone other than him. It was unthinkable. It was preposterous. No one understood her needs, her wants, her desires like he did. He was providing her with exactly what she needed. Yet, there was still a barrier between them that kept them apart. The very same thing that brought them together was now keeping them apart.
“I am glad to hear that,” the Earl nodded, taking a seat opposite Edwin. “I am even more glad to hear that you two have finally come to your senses and admitted that there was more to your relationship than mere friendship. It was plain as daylight that you to care deeply about each other.”
Edwin wanted to ask him if that was really true, if that was really how it seemed, but he managed to bite his tongue in time. He didn’t want to appear too curious. He needed to be certain of the feelings of his future wife.
Inside his mind, there was such a tangled mess of emotions right now that he could not make heads or tails of it. He wanted to be close to Lydia. He wanted to spend more time with her. He relished the idea that he would need to act like he was in love with her. He would be able to hold her hand, bring it to his lips, and kiss it any time he wished. The thought brought him much joy.
But there was a different thought, a heavier thought, and that was the fact that eventually, this would be brought to an end. They would not be able to pretend to be courting forever. Eventually, that moment would come, and they would tell everyone that it was either all a sham or that their paths had simply diverged. He believed the latter would be the better option than coming clean. He didn’t want to hurt either this man or his own mother with the truth of the knowledge that they lied to them willingly.
“It has been very difficult on all of us ever since my wife left us much too soon,” the Earl spoke a little melancholically. “But Lydia stepped in and took her mother’s role without even being asked to. I… I admit, I should have been there for her more, but I didn’t know how to be. I was left alone, a man with three daughters. They needed a mother, womanly guidance. They did not need a man to tell them about the female perspective on the world. Lydia gladly took over. I shall be forever grateful to her for that. She deserves a good man, one who will treat her right, and I do believe you are that man.”
Edwin was overwhelmed by the kind words of Lydia’s father and ended up feeling even worse than in the beginning.
“Now, tell me,” the Earl suddenly said as if he had had enough of these sappy exchanges, and wanted to continue in a more manly way. Edwin welcomed the change of topic. “Do you plan on attending Lord and Lady Ackerley’s ball?”
“Yes,” Edwin nodded. “Lydia and I were discussing it just yesterday that we should all go together. That way, we can reveal our courtship to the world and of course, theton.”
“Splendid,” the Earl confirmed. “But to Hell with theton,” he added, much to Edwin amusement.
“You are not a fan, I see,” Edwin chuckled.
“It is filled with big noses who have nothing better to do than lead other people’s lives for them while leaving their own unlived,” the Earl explained.
“I could not agree more,” Edwin confirmed.
“However, we live in their world by their rules,” the Earl said with a sigh. “What they say, goes. I cannot say I particularly like it, but I know what the rules are, and I believe we all need to abide by them.”
“That is certainly a logical way of looking at it,” Edwin agreed.
“Logical or not, it is simply how things are,” the man shrugged.
Edwin could not help but notice so much underlying grief about life in general. He was certain that he would feel the same way if he had been left alone, without the person he loved, to take care of three daughters.
“Well…” the Earl raised his glass. “Cheers… and welcome to the family.”
Edwin hesitated for a moment. Guilt would simply not let him be. But then, he lifted his glass and clinked it against the Earl’s.
“Cheers,” he replied with a smile. “And thank you.”