“The same,” he nodded. “She gave me this.”
Solemnly, she took the letter into her hands and read it once. Then, she read it once again. There was no mistake about it.
“This is the same person,” she said, her voice filled with excitement.
“One and the same,” he agreed. “You know what this means, right?”
Neither of them could hide their delight. For a few moments, neither could speak. It was enough to remain silent, just enjoying the moment. Lydia knew that this meant a lot to Edwin. Little by little, they were revealing this mystery, putting each subsequent piece of the puzzle into its place. The picture was far from visible as of yet, but they were slowly getting there.
“Someone is kidnapping young ladies,” he finally said. She nodded to that, allowing him to have this moment. “From what we can gather, Miss. Geraldine had the same character traits as Rachel. She was a wallflower, unused to the attention of gentlemen.”
“Yes,” Lydia agreed. She wanted to continue and tell him that this man was preying on young, vulnerable girls with no prospects, but she suddenly worried that he might be offended at this, so she bit her tongue before she could say anything.
“You know, my mother always feared that, as such, Rachel would not have any marital prospects,” he suddenly continued. Lydia was surprised to hear him open up even more than usual.
He paused to take a seat on the sofa, and she could not stay away from him. Something was pulling her to him, an invisible force which she could neither deny nor fight. She sat down beside him. It was highly inappropriate. Everything about this was. Their time alone. The closed doors. Their closeness. Yet, she could not pull away from him. He was feeding the one thing inside of her that no one else could, and now that she had gotten a taste of it, she constantly wanted more and more.
“She never said it directly to Rachel, of course,” he quickly added. “I would never allow her that. Rachel was far too tender to hear such a truth. But perhaps Rachel overheard her talking. I fear that might have happened. This made her even more vulnerable, and perhaps this is what drove her into the arms of that villain. I blame myself…”
He raked his fingers through his hair then rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face into his hands. She reached out to touch him and place her hand softly on his back, but she pulled away in the last moment. She felt like that would certainly be crossing a boundary which, if crossed, would not allow her to go back. She had to be careful. They both needed to be careful.
“This is not your fault,” she managed to muster, trying to regain composure. Hearing her say this, he lifted his head and looked at her. “Neither is it your mother’s or Rachel’s fault. The only person who is to take the blame here is that vile man. No one else.”
“But I am her big brother,” he shook his head. “It is my job to protect Rachel. I failed her.”
“I know how that feels,” she spoke softly, looking in front of him, not daring to turn her gaze and lock it with his. “When we lost our mother, I knew that Selina and Anna needed a motherly influence. They needed a strong shoulder, someone to be that guiding force in their lives. I knew I could not be that as a big sister alone. I had to take up another role, that of a mother, and as it happens, when one becomes a mother, you lose a part of yourself because you give that part to others. You satisfy the wishes of others because it makes you happy to see your loved ones happy. I suppose what I wanted to tell you with this was that you can only protect your loved ones up to a certain point. You cannot make the right decisions for them. They have to make them on their own.”
He thought about her words for a few moments. He was also staring at an invisible spot somewhere in front of him. The silence felt good. It was not the awkward silence that drove them apart but rather that pleasant kind of silence that seemed to bring them even closer together.
“That is kind of you to say that.” he said. “But that feeling of guilt will continue to gnaw at me until I find her.” Then, he added the one concern that frightened him the most, “If I find her.”
“We shall find her,” Lydia was quick to correct him. “We shall do everything in our power to find her and bring her back. We shall do the same for Miss. Geraldine and any other lady who has fallen prey to this wicked man.”
“Do you promise?” he asked, unexpectedly. That was the last thing she thought he would ever ask, especially taking into account how all this started.
“I promise,” she smiled.
She turned to him, her eyes wide, her cheeks flaming. She had no idea why he had this effect on her. Actually… she did. She knew it well. She simply refused to think about it, to accept it as reality.
He turned to her as well. She had never truly seen how handsome he was. Her chest constricted at the very sight of him. Her imagination took a trip, a wild trip, and she realized that she had been dreaming of this intimate moment for such a long time, ever since she interrupted his concealed conversation in the garden. Her desire to spend time with him grew exponentially from that simple desire to solve mysteries all the way to an overconsuming need to be by his side in any manner possible.
Her lips parted in an effort to say something else. They moved soundlessly, but there was no voice. Only her hot breath spilled from her lips. Her heart was beating inside of her chest, wanting to break through the cage of her body and fall right into Edwin’s hands, for that was where her heart already was. Only, he didn’t realize it yet.
At that moment, he covered her lips with his. It was a sudden movement that seemed to take them both by surprise. There was little finesse to it. She could taste his tongue as he slid it inside her mouth. At first, she didn’t know what to do. She simply stood there, allowing him to kiss her.
Then, something happened. It was her first kiss ever. It was not how she expected it to be, but it was with the man she secretly wanted. The raw desire inside of her took over suddenly without any warning. She instantly lost herself in this kiss, provoked to the point of madness for him.
She cupped his face with her hands. His own hands raked right through her hair from her neck upward. He was in control, and she loved it. She allowed him to adjust her head to the right angle, so he could slide his tongue deeper inside of her mouth as he slanted his lips over her. She could taste his saliva, sweet and with a hint of lemon.
It was a kiss she could never explain in words. It was tender and sweet, yet underneath, raging with all the power it could yield, was savagery and raw desire. When he sucked her lower lip, she felt an unexpected explosion between her thighs, a warmth that up until then only came from her own mind. Now, it came from him.
Her own tongue joined the dance, starting to swirl with his. She was finally kissing him back, the way one ought to kiss back. She dug her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to her. She dared to suck his tongue a little as well, instantly blushing even more. Her eyes were closed, so she did not care one bit if she looked a mess while doing so. She was completely taken over by the moment, reveling in what she was not permitted to do.
She found hunger inside of her the likes she had never even known she possessed. It was a hunger that demanded to be answered, to be satiated. But this was not the right moment. Perhaps, the right moment would never come, but for now, she had to regain control. Yet, all conscious thoughts vanished from her mind. There was nothing logical to hold onto, just this kiss. Just Edwin’s lips. Just this sheer and inexplicable need to kiss him forever.
Then, reality knocked on the barred doors of her mind, and she heard its distant call. Still trembling with desire, she pulled away. Her lips were still pulsating from the pressure of his own lips and from the way he sucked on them. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks felt hotter than lava. Only now did she realize what she had done, and it was the same for him.
“Lydia, I…” he started, his entire body pulling away, creating distance between them as if that would make them forget all about what just happened. “I am so sorry… I didn’t mean to…”