“Hi, lovely!” Sadie booms in my ear and I wince. She’s too loud, too cheery for - I check the clock - half eleven in the morning.
“Hiya,” I smile faintly, “is everything okay?”
“Of course!” Sadie replies, then her tone switches slightly. “I actually wanted to apologize. I was thinking about it and I don’t feel like I was as supportive as I could have been at the restaurant so I just… wanted to say sorry.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t dwelled on that at all. It’s difficult to think of anything other than the delicate new peace with the Russians andBlair.
“Are you okay?” Sadie asks and I can detect the frown on her face as she says it. I know her too well. Lowering down onto the bed, I make an agreeable noise in my throat.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been dealing with this sudden stomach bug. Every morning it’s the same I swear.” My free fingers knead at my temple and in the back of my mind I start planning the day; curl up on the couch, have hot drinks, the works.
“Every morning?” Sadie repeats and I make the agreeable noise again. “Anything else?”
“I’m pretty tired I guess,” I admit, “but it’s been a…stressful few weeks with Killian in the hospital and the like.”
“Mhm, sure,” Sadie murmurs quickly, “how are your breasts?”
I pause.
“What?”
“Your breasts, how are they? Tender?” Sadie presses.
My free hand drops from my forehead, clutching my left breast and biting my lip as a dull ache spreads through my chest.
“I suppose, yeah. Why?” Even as the question slips from my lips, I already know what Sadie is getting at. It hits like a jolt through my mind, hot and sharp.
“When was your last period?” Sadie asks softer now and I hesitate. I don’t know for sure. With everything that’s happened, from the kidnapping to the crash to my father’s death, there’s been so much stress that I hadn’t questioned my lack of cycle.
No… no it can’t be. Not now.
My silence is all the answer Sadie needs.
“I’m coming over,” Sadie declares, “and I’m bringing tests.”
She hangs up before I can protest and I’m left, mouth agape in the silence of the bedroom as a single word begins to weave through my mind like a horrid taunt.
Pregnant.
I can’t be. Can I? No… I think I would know.
We’re not ready for this. Killian is just out of the hospital, the peace with the Russians isliterallydays old and Blair is trying to bring Killian’s son - orsomeone’sson, into his life. This isnotthe time.
My heart kick starts back to life with a sudden, painful thump. I hadn’t even realized it had stopped and a wave of cold crashes from head to toe, dulling the feverish temperature I’d been fighting moments before.
It’s just the flu. Just the flu.
I repeat that mantra, pacing around the lounge for the forty minutes it takes Sadie to get here. I’ve already called ahead to the surrounding guards to let them know Sadie will be coming and the minutes drag by as I relay how I’ve been feeling over and over in my head. It does nothing but wind me further into such a mess that by the time the doorbell rings, I’ve knotted my hair from too many finger run-throughs, my eyes are shining and my heart is ready to punch its way right out of my chest cavity.
“Sadie!” I cry as I wrench open the door to my friend standing there with a bag clutched to her chest and her eyes wide. She scurries inside immediately and throws an arm around my shoulders.
“Cara! Oh, honey look at you,” she says with a sad smile. I slam the door shut and a spike of heat crawls fast up my limbs.
“I wasfine, I thought it was just flu until you started asking questions,” I mutter, my steps towards the stairs matching the sharpness in my voice.
“Hey, I was justasking. It’s not my fault the facts add up,” Sadie points out calmly as she shakes the bag in her hand and follows me upstairs. As we head for the bedroom, she lets out a low whistle of admiration until we enter the bedroom, and then she chuckles softly.
“Is that where you and Killian have all your unprotected sex?” she teases. I spin to face her as another flush of hot strokes up my chest. I don’twanther thinking of Killian like that.