The floorboards creak and we all turn to see Archer Arco in the doorway, his face as stoic as ever. For some reason that comforts me more than Kimmy and Sadie. It’s as if his unwavering calmness is the only normal thing to exist here right now.
“Does Killian not get jealous of someonethatgorgeous following you around all the time? Or does his work require everyone to be the sexy, strong and silent type,” Kimmy murmurs under her breath and her lips curl into a sly smirk I know so well. It’s the smirk she carries into clubs when she decides to turn what she sees as eye candy into a target, only there’s no party boys to distract her now.
Archer hasn’t left my side since the explosion that killed my father, by order of Killian. I didn’t fight this request, not when he knows I wasn’t on site when the explosion occurred.
That’s a heavy conversation waiting to happen.
“Archer!” Kimmy exclaims and she grabs the wine bottle, holding it aloft and wiggling it. “Do you want some wine?”
“No.”
His blunt answer causes a bubble of laughter to rise in my chest and I can’t smother it. I slap a hand over my mouth, alarmed as the humor escapes, turning back to Kimmy and Sadie with wide eyes.
Kimmy rolls her eyes, disappointed as she turns back to the counter.
“I’m sorry,” I giggle, “he’s just so…”
“No,” Sadie and Kimmy mock in their most serious voices. Somehow that tickles me further and the laughter explodes once more, worse when they join me. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me, Archer’s apathetic approach to everything surrounding Killian isn’t new and yet it amuses me like the funniest comedy I’ve ever seen.
As the laughter calms, I grab my wine glass and take a large gulp as Kimmy settles into eating a pizza slice and Sadie leans against the table, dabbing at her lip gloss.
“So,” I breathe out, regaining my composure after another sip. “I heard from the caterers this morning when I woke up, so all of that is set, and since we can’t do an open casket as per tradition, I’ve picked out the shroud I want him wrapped in and I’ve chosen ribbon as the decoration.”
Kimmy reaches out and closes one of her hands over mine, gripping tightly. I squeeze back gratefully as my voice begins to waver.
“Because of how… quickly things are moving, we’ll have the wake in the morning and that will lead into the funeral in the late afternoon and that’ll be it. Done and dusted.” My heart stutters painfully and I bury a hiccup of emotion into my wine glass, taking several large gulps as Sadie nods.
“Everything is set,” Sadie replies softly.
“Honestly Cara, you shouldn’t focus too much on the details. We’re taking care of everything. And Sienna? She’s been amazing,” Kimmy smiles strongly at me but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes.
Of course Sienna is taking care of things. My debt to her is growing in the back of my mind, one I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay.
“You need to focus on yourself,” Sadie agrees, sliding from her stool and moving around to settle on the other side of me. The moment their warmth settles around me, the knot in my throat swells painfully.
“I’m fine,” I smile but the words crack in my mouth.
Keep it together Cara!Think of Blair.
This time thinking of Blair and her poisonous words doesn’t stabilize me as much as it did before, not with my best friends this close. My lower lip wobbles and I swallow again, choking faintly around the lump nestled deep in my throat as Sadie’s arms wind around my shoulders and Kimmy’s slide around my waist.
“I am focused,” I manage shakily as my eyes swim and blur and heat prickles up my spine. They pull me close and I’m trapped between them, hands brushing over my body in soothing touches as their words fade to nothing more than comforting sounds, and I waver.
My eyes close and tears spill, silent and hot down my cheeks as Blair fades from my mind and the grief cracks open my chest.
I’m not fine.
2
KILLIAN
Two days since Callahan was murdered outside one of our clubs and the only thing I can focus on is how badly I need a drink. It’s selfish I know but as Dante stands before me, scotch in hand, I realize I’m parched. A tremor settled in my fingertips that night, born from the chilling fear that Cara was the one in the car and she’d just been ripped away from me.
Seeing her hadn’t calmed that tremor and it still exists now, simmering just underneath my skin as I try to do thehonorablething and give her the space that she’s asked for to grieve.
I’d prefer her to grieve with me but I can’t deny her anything, not at a time like this.
“Killian?”