“Think of it as more of a rebirth. Your body healed itself. You’ll find that your new body is more useful, so you will be stronger, faster, and have reaper abilities as well.” She explains it like she’s telling me I have the common cold or something. She’s so casual that it puts me even more on edge.
“I want to go home. Clearly I’m not dead, I can hear my own damn heartbeat!” My temper can’t be contained anymore and I grit out my words. Yet she remains as stoic as ever.
“I explained that already,” she bites back. “Your body healed in your rebirth.” She has no right to be angry with me. This is fucking nuts and so is she if she thinks I’m going to let her lie to my fucking face. I stand so abruptly that my chair flies back, clattering to the floor with a loud bang.
“You’ve barely explained anything! You tell me that I’m reborn and I’m just supposed to fucking accept it with a smile on my face? Give me something more believable if you want me to go along with this!” I bellow out, my loud voice reverberating around the nearly empty room. As I sit there and breathe like an angry bull, she proceeds to look unbothered, spurring my anger on even more.
When I finally run out of ranting I let her words sink in. Some of the shit in this situation is unexplainable, but I don’t feel any different. How the fuck am I some sort of grim reaper? Maybe I’m stuck in a dream and didn’t actually die, or a coma I can’t get out of. At least a coma would explain the healing, right?
I’m silently freaking out, but at the same time my mind wants to accept this new turn of events. My existence isn’t just over now, she’s offering me a new life. Or at least I think so. Maybe I can be part of something again. If the alternative is nothingness or darkness, I love the idea of a second chance.
What about your old life, Luz?
An image of my dad flashes into my mind. No matter how bad life got, I could fix it by curling up in his lap. As quickly as I think about him, the image fades away, leaving me with a sense of grief and loss so strong I gasp. Just like the memories, even the painful emotions start to fade before I have complete hold on them.
My breath comes in shallow pants and my heart clenches in a vice. Was my brain damaged when I died, am I broken now?
“You have to calm down. Frankly, I get it. We’ve all been in your shoes. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll find a place here.” Arianna says bluntly. “Maybe even find some peace. We aren’t the enemy, Luz.”
“How do you know my name?” I ask between gasping breaths.
“Because I’m a reaper too,” she says as if that explains it all.
“The only reason I’m even considering this is because I saw the blood, felt myself die yet have no wound. Hell, I could see changes in my face. I remember the gunshot, hitting the ground and finding the darkness.” My voice turns shaky as I remember that awful nothingness.
“The darkness is actually the land between the veils, some call it the void. As a reaper, you will portal through it, but shouldn’t be able to go there again to stay like you did. We aren’t going to just throw you under the bus, Luz. You’ll be assigned to another reaper to show you the ropes for a few days, then you will get your own assignments.” She’s already jumping into duties and I haven’t even wrapped my head around this crazy tale.
“I never agreed to this,” I say softly, trying not to let emotions overtake me, but feelings of frustration and confusion build. I grit my teeth to hold in my rising panic while she continues to say fucking nothing. “Why me?” I finally ask the most important question in my mind.
“You were strong enough to withstand the change. I know it’s overwhelming; we’ve all been there. But at this point, what alternative do you have?” Her eyes soften a little and I drop into another chair, feeling the anger fade.
“So I’m literally taking souls from their bodies? Will people see me? Do I eat? Does my body work the same?” I shake my head as I’m overwhelmed with a sense of loss. “I was supposed to get married and have babies. I had a good job and a family.” My heart starts to pound as I’m right back to being overwhelmed again but she stands, offering her hand. An honest to god scythe forms in her palm, her hand shifting as the weapon weighs it down. A thin chain is wrapped around it from handle to the edge of the sharp, curving blade. “Holy shit.”
She smirks at my words. “We do get some cool toys, if that helps at all.”
I snort at her attempted humor. “Maybe a little.”
“But in all seriousness. You may find new love, a place to belong, friends… your life isn’t over, it's just extended. Indefinitely. This will be your job, and though some days will be hard and heartbreaking, other days will be rewarding. No, nobody will see you while you hold the scythe. The chain can be retracted for less conspicuous travel. If you travel without your scythe, which is what reapers use to bring the souls here, you just have to be careful. The room you just left is your room and will stay your room. You will be traveling between here and the human realm. You can eat. Each reaper is given a credit card and resources.” She finally gives a smile, but it has a hint of amusement that brings my anger back. Apparently she finds it funny to drop every bit of information on me all at once. “There, now you know everything. Welcome to the City of Souls.”
She clicks a button and steps aside, the curtains raising to reveal the world below.
It’s my first look at the city, and I can’t tear my eyes away. On the surface it appears to be an average city, tall buildings, streets, sidewalks, streetlights. Except everything is black and the world is glowing a soft blue. There’s a fog drifting over the ground below and clinging to the bottom of the buildings around us.
Some parts of the city look pristine, but as I gaze further out it starts to get rundown. The buildings there are less modern and more gothic, even a large mansion resting on a hill beyond the city limits. Outside of the city is more of the same darkness as the void. It’s isolating and makes it seem even stronger here. There’s a haunting beauty to it. Between that and the blue glow the city is ethereal and captivating.
“It’s beautiful.” I say quietly, finally ripping my eyes away from my new home. I hear Arianna snort behind me.
“I’m glad you think so; most newcomers think it's creepy, I know I did. The glow you see is from the energy the souls emit.” She laughs. Her giggle transforms her entire face, and she looks downright friendly for a second.
“It has a charm to it. I kind of see the love for white now, though. Everything out there is so dark.” I admit, standing back far enough to appreciate the contrast from the white inside and the black outside. Though little splashes of color still never hurt.
“Just wait here, your trainer will be along shortly. She can give you a tour tonight and seeing as you have a few days of training ahead of you, may as well get to know her,” she says with a polite smile, before practically running out of the room. I chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. Shouldn’tIbe the one running away?
This is the craziest shit I've ever landed in and as I sit alone, staring down at the city, I realize I believe her. Sure I don’t feel very different, but maybe that is for the best. I was already overwhelmed beyond capacity with everything else she told me, that might have been the one thing to shove me over the cliff of insanity.
The urge to run and scream, to find safety, is gone. Despite the strange city several stories below me, Arianna is right that it feels like home. This is a fresh start.
And maybe–just maybe–I’m a reaper.