How in the world did I convince myself that I wasn’t in love with him?I wondered stupidly.
I felt like I was intruding on his solitude, so I was about to walk away, giving another lingering look before leaving him in peace, however when I was about to turn around, his eyes lifted and caught mine.
We held on to each other’s gazes from across the distance, breaking my heart slowly, over and over again. When I couldn’t hold it any longer, I dropped my gaze before slowly walking away.
Tears fell off my face as I walked blindly towards my bedroom. I needed to regroup. I needed to think about why I had really come here. Did I come here to stop the wedding? No, of course not. Did I come here to help me forget about him? Yes… and no.
I wanted to see… him—see if he was truly happy. If this was what he wanted in life, then who was I to stop him? But for my own peace, I just needed to see it.
My bedroom door was steps away when I heard him call out my name. “Liv?”
My heart stopped functioning as I hastily wiped my tears away before spinning around to face him. “Hey—”
He nodded, noting the moisture in my eyes.
“You’re getting married.”
When he nodded for the second time, his eyes lingered on my face, caressing it with his gaze. “I am.”
“Why? I don’t understand?” I was shaking my head, not wanting to believe him.
He cleared his throat. “It’s hard to explain, but I owe her one.”
“Owe her what? Your entire future? You can’t just get married on a whim—that’s purely moronic!” I was getting frustrated, which I knew I had no right to be.
He remained silent before giving me a sad smile. “It’s good to see you, Liv.”
Was he leaving? “Wait—where’s Mom and Brett? Where are you going?” Please don’t leave… not yet.
“Laura had to do some last minute fittings, as did Dad.” He pressed his lips together, looking like he’d already made up his mind. “I have to go and clear my head.” He looked at me for the last time then disappeared into the hallway.
I didn’t even make it to my bed; I collapsed on the floor, crying like it was the end of the world. Maybe it was, for me anyway.
“I missed my chance. I missed my fucking chance,” I sobbed into the floor, feeling empty.
CHAPTER37
Liv
My mother camein and found me in the same fetal position two hours later. She sat crisscrossed on the floor, gently placing my head on her lap as she stroked my hair, and I cried some more.
Without words, she comforted me—just like old times—but this time, she didn’t have any cure for my broken heart.
After an hour of silence, she finally offered me dinner, which I immediately declined. I needed some time alone. To cry some more and mourn.
My heart was broken and I doubted it would ever be whole again.
I was in bed, thinking and just crying… up until late at night, when someone knocked on my door.
"Oh my God! It's past midnight! Are you drunk?" I shrieked, not about the time, but at seeing him outside my bedroom door.
He gave me his signature smile. "A little." He paused, unsure. "Were you sleeping?"
I was thinking about you.It’s bad, really bad. "No, I was reading actually. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be asleep so you won't be late tomorrow?" After the night I’d had, I knew my eyes were going to be puffy as marshmallows tomorrow.
"I don't know why I'm here, to be honest…" He looked in pain, confused. "I just know that I want to see you."
He was drunk. That’s all this was. Earlier, he had been so eager to leave… it was the alcohol talking for him now. "Grey! Go home and sleep."