I think the last time this had happened to me was when I was a little girl, asking my mom or dad for comfort when I’d had the most awful nightmare.
Tonight was different.
I hadn’t dreamt that goodbye I’d had with Greyson. It had happened. Inside, I was being killed slowly. How could I tell him that it was hard to be with him? So much was at stake. I just couldn’t risk it.
It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I had never known such pain could be caused in saying goodbye to someone you cared so much about. After I had seen him using, I had thought the worst. I’d had an idea that he was doing it from time to time since a lot of the kids in our school did it, but I hadn’t seen him do it first-hand. To say that it had shocked me would be an understatement.
Greyson was a stubborn guy. He was known for it. Besides, he was old enough to know what he was doing to himself. If he thought that was acceptable, then I knew I had made the right decision in letting him go.
My mind approved, though my heart was weeping for him. It was the most exhausting combination to have when two of your functioning organs go against each other. Not to mention the emotional toll it was giving me.
That knowledge of believing that I had made the right decision was proved month after month.
We were graduating soon, but instead of studying for finals, most of the people in my year were partying like there was no tomorrow. I couldn’t do it, though. There was too much to be done.
A lot of them had gone on weekend trips to Mexico, which had been Grey’s idea. Since it was only two hours away, they had done a couple of trips to celebrate the end of high school.
To me, it sounded like the most absurd thing. How the hell did they celebrate when they weren’t studying at all? Were they sure that they were going to get passable grades?
Every time I had seen him in school or at home, my heart would be stuck in my throat. His eyes remained sad, like he had been mourning that whole time. Apart from that, he was all smiles to the rest of the world, partying until the break of dawn.
From what I’d heard from Josie, who was always joining them in their craziness, he hadn’t been with anyone. Not Edith. Not Tiffany. But I knew how he was. Greyson didn’t need to broadcast his women. They were happy to be in the shadows, like how it had been with me.
I thought I had heard the last from Edith, but I apparently had been wrong. You see, the bitch texted me with a picture of a sleeping Greyson. It was only a facial picture, so I wasn’t sure if he had any clothing on, but it still provoked my mind.
Edith:Good that you finally know your place. He will always be mine. I guess I should thank your dad for being gay. I owe him one. Kisses.
She then ended the message with a grainy picture of a guy, who resembled my dad, dressed in a woman’s get-up.
Where had she gotten that picture? She’d always threatened me with it, but I’d thought she was joking…
As for dad being gay, I wasn’t sure about that. I’d had no idea how to bring the sensitive subject up to my mom, let alone my dad. All my life, there had been no clue or indication that he was.
I wouldn’t have cared either way. To me, he was my father; I loved him and that was all that mattered.
Maybe in time, I could open up to him, although for the time being, I was going to let bygones be bygones.
My family was safe from Edith’s attack. My mother was happy and secure in her relationship. As for the rest, I could deal with it head on.
The time to leave for my summer move to Sydney was upon me. I knew I was going to be greeted with cold weather once I got there, but it was the only bright light in my shadowed world right now. Even though my heart was heavy, at least there was something to look forward to.
I hated to admit it, however I slept thinking of Greyson every night. What had happened between us was something to be cherished. My memory of him was going be untainted. I wanted to keep it that way.
I hoped, whatever he was doing right now, that he was happy. Satisfied. Safe.
CHAPTER31
Liv
The commencement had just endedwhen the rest of my class began hollering, giddy that we’d finally passed this chapter of our lives. Some were simply grateful that they had managed to pass. Jet, who had remained on friendly terms with me, wasn’t so shy about that very fact himself.
Grey would acknowledge me with a nod, but never with words or a smile. I supposed it was progress.
Mom and Brett were hosting a graduation bash tonight at the house. I planned to celebrate with them for a little while since my flight was around midnight tonight.
Mom had begged me to book my ticket a little later, but honestly, I couldn’t stomach being in the same vicinity as Greyson any longer. I needed to runaway. I desperately needed new scenery to make me forget how empty my life had become without him in it.
After an hour or so, the house was flooded with people. The music was blaring and excitement rolled in waves.