Day 29 Weds 8/29
Itry to stay focused on the positive—Gregory is on the case and compiling digital evidence I’m almost certain will prove my suspicions about Blair—but it’s not easy. My apartment, my neighborhood, my favorite Indian restaurant where I used to enjoy a soul-nourishing meal—all of them are haunted by memories of Jack.
It’s so bad that I find myself cruising Craigslist, looking at apartments and wondering if I have the will or the money to move, when an unexpected notification pings from my personal email, offering a reprieve.
To:Eleanor Seyfried
From: Lulu Rivera
Hey, Ellie. I hope it’s okay that I’m emailing you here—Jack gave me your info.
Just wanted to say thank you for talking to Jack about my situation. He called me this morning to offer me my job back. Actually, he offered me a promotion! Starting tomorrow, I’ll be working with Hannah, shadowing her until I’m ready to take over her position while she moves on to train as a broker. I’m so excited I can barely contain myself, and it’s all thanks to you! Well, and Eric. ;)
I know people are upset about what happened, but I understand why you did what you did. And I would love it if we could still be friends. The things I liked about Eric aren’t going to change because you took off your fake mustache.
Plus, you still owe me a happy hour rendition ofShot Through the Heart, and I’m holding you to it! ;-) My cell number’s in the signature if you ever want to chat.
Hugs and more thanks!
—Lulu
Blinking back grateful tears,I hit the number for her cell and text:Hey, it’s Ellie! I’m so happy for you, Lulu. This news made my day, and I would be honored to be your friend. I need all the friends I can get. Especially if I have to sing in public. :-)
After only a second or two, Lulu pings me back.Wonderful! Me, too. Want to meet up tonight? My ex has the kids, and I’m going out for munchies and margaritas at the Mexican place on Fulton to celebrate. No karaoke, but the queso dip is out of this world.
My first instinctis to confess that I’m not good company right now and beg off. But that’s what the old Ellie would do, and I don’t want to go back to lurking in my writer lair with nothing but a block of sharp cheddar cheese to keep me company. I’ve had a taste of what it feels like to have a fuller, richer life, and I refuse to backslide again, no matter how down in the dumps I am.
Sounds amazing, I tap before I can talk myself out of it.Though, I’ll warn you, I’m a little out of sorts. The truth coming out the way it did has been rough.
I can imagine,Lulu responds,but it will all blow over. I promise. Bad things always do, and then the good stuff is still there. Good has staying power.
I shake my head as I rise from the couch to pace the hardwood floor where Jack held me in his arms for that first dance. Lulu’s optimism is impressive, especially after all she’s been through with her ex and the kids.You’re an inspiring lady, Lulu. Jack picked the perfect person to take over for Hannah. I have no doubt you’ll do an incredible job.
Thank you!Lulu sends a smiley face and a heart before dropping something unexpected.And he picked the perfect person to fall in love with, too. You guys are good together.
Um… Did he say something?My thumbs fly as my thoughts race. Is it possible that he feels that way? Even now?
He didn’t have to. It’s obvious every time he looks at you,Lulu shoots back.Even when you were Eric! But my suspicions were confirmed when we met today. Every time your name came up, he got THE LOOK. You know the look.
I pace faster, my pulse picking up, too. I need to know if there’s a chance—even a minuscule one—that he’s missing me as much as I’m missing him.Really? You could tell from the way he looked at me even when I was Eric? Seriously?
Yes, seriously.She sends over an eye-rolling emoji.So I hope you’re not thinking of doing something crazy like walking away from him because of work drama. He’s an amazing guy and they don’t grow on trees. Believe me, I’ve been checking every branch.
Biting my lip, I pause, gaze fixed on the turntable where Sam Cooke still sits, ready to pick up where Jack and I left off.
Maybe Lulu is right. Maybe I should listen to her, and to the inner voice that convinced me to agree to dinner in the first place.
Yes, jumping back on board the love train is a lot scarier than grabbing nachos with a friend. But they’re both part of saying yes—yes to life and all the beautiful, scary, wonderful, terrifying things that means. They’re both part of realizing that safety is overrated and that only the brave get to love and be loved, but that the risk is totally worth it.
There is no greater reward. Even three weeks with Jack was enough to convince me of that beyond the shadow of a doubt.
So why am I sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I could be saying yes? Yes to everything. To all of it, from friends and family to work to falling in love and everything in between.
See you at six, wise one?I tap out as I step into my clogs, grab my laptop and my purse, and reach for the door.I have a few things I need to take care of ASAP.
Lulu’s emoji fist makes me smile.Go kick ass and take names girl! See you then.
Thirty minutes later, I’m at the Neptune diner, perched on a stool with a view of the cars streaming down Astoria Boulevard as I start my article. It’s not the article I’d planned to write, but it’s the one I need to write, the one that’s knocking around in my heart, demanding to be let out.