“The only way to prove she’s a lying, scheming bitch is to come clean about your story.” He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Which is not an option. So we’re left with this: Eric resigns quietly and disappears, and I figure out how to get rid of Blair without a lawsuit.”
“Are you crazy? Then she wins!” My hand balls into a fist on the bar next to the glass of scotch the bartender just delivered. “What if I really were a man facing this accusation? Is that how you would handle this? Get rid of me without proof or an inquiry or even a chance to tell my side?”
“Of course not, but you’re not a real man.” Jack’s breath rushes out as he reaches for his drink. “And if you were, I’m not sure how we would handle it. Blair’s been with the company for years; you’re brand new and coming to us with some holes in your resume…” He takes a drink, humming around the mouthful of scotch before he swallows. “Honestly, if I didn’t know for a fact that you don’t have a dick to flash, I would’ve believed Blair. And I would’ve found a way to dismiss Eric without making any more waves.”
I grip my glass tight, squinting up at him in the darkness. “But that’s bullshit, Jack. And not fair to anyone. If some guy really had exposed himself to Blair, she would deserve justice. And the creeper who whipped it out would deserve to have the incident follow him to his next job interview, so the people there know what kind of person they were dealing with.” I lay a hand on my bound chest. “And if Eric were falsely accused, he would deserve justice, too. Which would include a chance to defend his reputation and his livelihood. Don’t you see?” I stab my finger onto the bar between us. “This proves the entire point of my article. Gender inequality is bad for everyone—womenandmen. It creates a toxic environment where no one is treated fairly and—”
“I’m on your side, okay?” Jack cuts in with a sharp exhale. “Please, Ellie, just give me a break for once. I understand where you’re coming from, but this situation is outside all the usual boxes. You’re a cross-dressing undercover reporter, and Blair is a sociopath who’s somehow managed to fool our entire office for years.”
“She isn’t fooling everyone,” I grumble. “Especially people who don’t have a dick.”
Jack’s eyes lift to the ceiling. “Not everything is boys versus girls, El.”
“But this is,” I insist, the taste of betrayal sour and miserable in my mouth. “And I can’t believe you don’t see it. I can’t believe you’re telling me to give up and disappear without a fight.” I slide off my stool, pushing my untouched scotch toward him. “I’ve got to go. I promised Sonia I would watch Project Runway with her tonight.”
“I’ll come with you.” Jack tugs his wallet out of his pants. “We’re not done discussing this.”
“Yes, we are,” I say, the back of my nose stinging. “I’m not going to tuck tail and run because Blair told a flashy lie. I’m not built that way.”
“Ellie, please. I know you’re passionate and committed to this, and I respect the hell out of you for that, but—”
“Do you?” I press my lips together, fighting to maintain control. “Because it sure doesn’t feel like it. It feels like you’re ready to pull the rug out from under me the second things stop being easy.”
Hurt flashes in Jack’s eyes. “That’s not fair. I’m in a dive bar having a lover’s quarrel with another man in public for you, El. The entire bar has been staring since we walked in, but I don’t care.”
I glance over my shoulder, causing the three burly guys at the end of the bar to shift their attention quickly back to their beers and pretend they aren’t hanging on our every word.
I turn back to Jack, swallowing hard. “This isn’t a lover’s quarrel. This is you telling me to ditch a project that could help your employees and re-launch my career. This is you deciding that covering your own ass is more important than doing what’s right.” I swallow hard, but I can’t stop the truth from emerging softly into the air. “That it’s more important than me.”
“That’s not even close to true.” Jack’s expression morphs from hurt to flat-out wounded. “You’re important to me, Ellie. So fucking important. I thought I made that clear. These weeks with you… They’ve been amazing.”
“I thought so, too. But now you’re—”
“You have to know what you mean to me. This Blair situation has nothing to do with the way I feel about you. The way I feel about us.”
I sniff, but I’m losing the battle against a breakdown. It’s time to get out of here. Now. Ten minutes ago. “I’m not sure about us, Jack. I’m not sure about anything right now except that I need to see this story through, and I hope to God you’ll let me.”
Jack calls for me to wait, but I’m halfway to the door and I keep going. I lunge out onto the street, squinting in the suddenly too-bright light as I hurry around the corner and make a break for the subway entrance at the end of the block. I don’t pause or look back until I’m three steps down the stairs leading to the platform.
But when I do, Jack is nowhere to be found.
He let me go.
Without a fight.
It doesn’t bode well for the future of my article or my future with this man who is quickly becoming such a big part of my life.
The best part.
Or so I thought. But maybe I was fooling myself about that, too. All I know for certain is that I can’t remember the last time I felt this low, so far down that even the urine stink on the subway platform makes me ache for Jack and all the dreams I might have to leave behind.
CHAPTER 19
Jack
Day 20 Mon 8/20
By Monday morning, my email inbox is a war zone, each message a grenade lobbed straight into my lap by Blair fucking Keneally.