And they’re both Sam.
Chapter Thirteen
Sam
“Everything is hard before it is easy.”
-Goethe
* * *
I had worried that letting love back into my life would dull my sharp edges, but nothing could be further from the truth.
The next morning, I wake up in Danny’s arms, sore from making love until midnight, with a fire burning in my belly, more determined than ever to get blood on my hands. I lost a year of this perfect love and scarred the heart of the best person I’ve ever known because of Todd and his friends. It’s past time for them to get what they deserve.
And then Danny and I will finally be free.
I roll over, propping my chin on his chest, watching the clear morning light creep across his face, setting his blond stubble to glowing.
With his long hair spread out across the pillow and his full lips parted in sleep, he is as beautiful as he ever was. But even at rest, he looks like a man who’s been through something, who has walked through the shadows of the underworld, where the living should never have to tread. I’m the reason he knows what it’s like to hurt like that, and I’m going to be the one to take his hand and lead him back into the light.
One day soon we’re going to walk away from this horror and the sooner that day comes, the better.
A few minutes before seven, his eyes open. He looks disoriented for a second, but then he sees me and smiles, relief and wonder mixing on his sleepy face.
“So last night wasn’t a dream,” he says, hugging me closer to his warm body.
“More like a wake-up call.” I kiss his scruffy cheek. “When’s your last day of work again?”
He hums and his brow furrows. “I’ll be back from the overnight trip Tuesday morning, but I don’t have to check out of the cabin until Wednesday.”
I cross my hands on his chest and prop my chin on top. “So we do all three Tuesday night and leave first thing Wednesday morning. I’ll go to the airport and buy the tickets while you’re busy with the training exercises today.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He brushes my hair from my face. “I’ll give you some cash for my ticket.”
“Do you care where we go?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. I’ve got Pete and Sean running all the tours in Porec until the end of the summer. We can go anywhere you want. Surprise me.”
My breath rushes out with a mixture of terror and anticipation. I can’t wait for the morning we board that plane, even if there is still hell to go through before we get there. “I thought you’d be sick of surprises by now.”
“I’m sick of being without you,” he says, arm tightening around my waist. “I don’t mind surprises.”
“I meant what I said last night,” I whisper, hoping he can hear that I mean every word. “I’m sticking with you. And from now on this comes first.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He cups my bottom in his big hand, setting the aching flesh between my legs to tingling. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Sore.” I smile, before adding in a lilting voice, “But not too sore.”
“Not too sore for what?” he asks, feigning innocence even as his fingers slip between my thighs, finding where I’m already slick. He bites his lip as he strokes gently in and out. “Thailand or India.”
“What?” I moan as he adds a second finger, testing me, making sure I’m ready for him.
“Get us a flight to Thailand or India,” he says. “Near the coastal resorts. Hotels are cheap enough there that we’ll be able to shack up in a room by the beach for a month and do nothing but make love, eat curry, and swim in the ocean all day.”
“Sounds like heaven,” I say, sighing as he removes his fingers and rolls on top of me, spreading my thighs with a nudge of his knee that makes my desire spike fast and hot.
“No, this is heaven.” He holds my gaze as he positions himself and glides slowly inside, his thickness stretching my inner walls.
The hint of soreness makes me even more aware of how perfectly he fills me, how right it is to be joined with him like this, with nothing between us but love and skin. I wrap my arms and legs around him and give him everything, all my love, all my pain, and all my newly sprung hope for the future.
And when we’re lying together after, listening to the monkeys chitter in the trees outside and bird calls echo through the jungle, I realize again what a fool I’ve been.
Love isn’t making me soft, it’s taking the weapon forged by hate and refining it in the fire Danny and I make together, transforming it into something even sharper and more deadly.