He was my first. I’d thought it was love. We’d gone on a double date. His brother had driven to the movies, and we’d stayed behind while they went in to get their tickets and popcorn. Steven dumped me right after we’d had awkward sex. I meanright after—I hadn’t even gotten out of his brother’s rusted hunter-green Bronco. Once I’d managed to yank my clothes back on and scrambled from the back seat, I caught Steven and Melissa Johnson, the head cheerleader, meeting up on the theater’s steps.
I was the weird girl—a mathlete and computer geek. Apparently, he didn’t want to be seen with me or my flat chest—his words, not mine. In high school, my boobs came in, and I told him to suck it when he noticed.Asshat.
Wary, and for good reason, I’d avoided anything serious in high school. It wasn’t only that. I missed my sister and my dad, and the fact that my mom was emotionally absent didn’t help things. Justin did. If it hadn’t been for him, I didn’t know what would have become of me, especially after Jacob. He’d demolished what remained of my self-confidence.
Sex with Jacob was mediocre and not like what the movies or books portrayed. The relationship wasn’t all bad, though. He was okay to spend time with, when he wasn’t going on about baseball or telling me to watch him play. God, that was like an all-day event—and outside. I wasn’t having it.
As the weeks bled into months, he guilted me into doing other things for him because I wasn’t a supportive girlfriend. He had plenty of support from all the other girls sucking up to him since he was rumored to be headed to whatever it was baseball players went when they were professional.NFL? No, that’s football. I had no clue and zero interest in sports.
With my crappy luck in love, it was clear the problem was with me. I was unlovable. That had to be, because I was intelligent—I had proof of that. But I clearly lacked judgment. I picked up on signals from people easily on a daily basis in every arena unless when they pertained to my love life. I should have suspected something was off when Carly, the blond knockout who hung around the team like a deranged superfan, kept showing up wherever Jacob was.
But we were solid, or so I’d thought.
All those favors—grocery shopping, buying him the new cleats he couldn’t afford or the whatever thingy he needed for the sport—hadn’t bothered me. What did was the night he freaked out because his coach had talked to him about his grades. He needed to get an A to pass a class. That was where I came in. I helped, even though my instincts were screaming at me to run far and fast. I hadn’t listened. Instead, I’d logged into the school’s mainframe and changed not just one of his grades but several.
I was a sucker.
He’d used it against me later, when I caught him macking on the blond bombshell. Things got ugly when I told him to go to hell and started packing up my stuff. He’d slammed the door shut and barred me from leaving. He said if I did, he would tell the school what I’d done, and I would get kicked out. Not him. He and the bimbo would testify that I’d done it without his consent and that he was with her when it happened.
I was so screwed.
In the middle of the night, while the fucktard was sleeping, I’d taken my things and left, not just his apartment but the school too. Justin knew what had happened. No one else. My mom bought my drifter sob story about how I couldn’t figure out what to major in and it was all a waste of time, anyway. She’d thought that in the beginning, so it wasn’t hard to convince her.
After that nightmare, I’d sworn off men. I could fantasize about them, though. Relationships conjured in my head were perfectly okay. It just so happened that my number-one dream guy—key word “dream”—was Sofia’s brother, Trey, the consummate bad boy who had a good side who was a doctor, at least from what was apparent from my pseudofantasy relationship. But then he’d walked away, and I’d felt so rejected, even though I’d learned he was still mourning his ex. I shouldn’t have held it against him.
Even so, trusting a potential, real-life boyfriend was hard. And sometimes, I was a bit defensive. But who could blame me after a shittastic past like mine?
I should have been worried about getting mixed up with Trey.
But this time, I’d been smart. I’d looked at what he could gain from me at every angle. I had time to think about it after all. There was nothing I had that he needed. Allen? The spot on the board? I wasn’t naïve. He didn’t need Allen to make that happen.
My trust fund? Not a chance. My family may have been one-percenters, but our net worth was chump change compared to the money he had. And the only other thing I could think of was my hacking skills. But even there, his brother Nico and whoever else they could easily employ filled that nonexistent void.
There was nothing I had that Trey could use me for. Nothing. With that in the forefront of my mind, I wanted to try one last time. If I was wrong, and the relationship failed, I was done. I wouldn’t hitch my ride to another guy for the rest of my life. It was my last attempt at love. I only hoped I didn’t sabotage it with my abandonment issues and defensiveness.
My mind was made up, and I shoved aside the insecurities brought on by the bad choices in my past.
I took one last look in the mirror, noticing the determined gleam in my eyes before leaving the room and making a beeline for the back doors.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HAILEY
Trey was already outside and in the pool. As I slid the door open, a wave of heat blasted me. Two brightly colored towels were thrown over loungers at one end. Sunscreen sat on the small table between them. Even though it was late afternoon, the rays were still powerful, and I could feel their effects on my skin. While Trey swam laps, I slathered on a good coating then sprawled across one of the chairs to let it soak in and do its job.
The sound of the waves combined with Trey’s rhythmic laps lulled me into a light sleep as the sun warmed my skin. When drops of water landed on my stomach and a shadow blocked the sun, I blinked my eyes open to Trey standing over me. My gaze crawled hungrily over his disheveled dark hair to follow the trail of several droplets as they ran from his hair, over his wide shoulders, then down washboard abs.
I pushed up onto my elbows, my mouth suddenly dry. Words failed me. All I could think of was tracing the path of a drop of water that rolled lazily down his chest.
“Let’s go for a walk on the beach.” Trey extended his hand.
I shook myself from the mesmerizing hold he had over me, swung my legs over the side of the lounge chair, then put my hand in his, letting him help me up and welcoming the warm breeze coming off the Caribbean Sea.
Even with the sun sinking in the sky, it was a beautiful, cloudless day. Trey clasped my hand in his as we padded down the private boardwalk that led to the long stretch of beach. This was heaven. All I needed was a drink in hand, and I would never want to leave. My soul felt lighter, and I left my problems in Chicago, where they would wait for our return. I desperately needed the reprieve.
“How often do you come here?” I’d never been to the Cayman Islands, and so far, it was ranking in my top-ten must-visit places.
“Not enough.” His voice held a wistful quality. “Nico can get away and come here with the excuse of work. There’s a financial hub on the island. But I have a lot of memories from when I was a kid, and our dad bought the place for our family as a getaway. Mom loves it, as it’s very different than Italy.”