I’d thought I would feel different after the first time, but it doesn’t feel as if very much has changed. If anything, it feels as if I’ve settled into somethingright, as if my world has finally tilted back into place, as if a puzzle piece has finally fit at last. I lay there, listening to him breathe, and I know this is where I belong.
There’s still so much to figure out, a long road to us being together for good. I have to find a life of my own here in Paris, a place for my brother, too. I have to know that Alexandre has truly put his past behind him and that he can be the new man I believe he can be. But for the first time, I have more hope than I’ve ever felt before.
“I found a box under the tree when I cleaned it up,” I murmur, running my fingers through his hair. “Gift-wrapped and everything.”
I feel him chuckle softly into my hair. “That was for you,petite.”He hesitates. “Can you bring it to me?”
I hate to pull myself away from him, but I do so slowly, reaching for my clothes. “I’ll be right back.” I kiss him lightly on the lips, before going downstairs to retrieve the small gift-wrapped box and bringing it back up.
“I wanted to give you this,” he says quietly, holding it gingerly. “I bought this years ago, waiting for the right person to give it to. It never felt quite right until now.” Alexandre holds the box out to me. “This was always meant to be yours, Noelle.”
My heart skips in my chest again as I slowly undo the wrapping. I hadn’t expected a gift, and the thought that it’s something he’s been holding onto, waiting to gift it to someone, in particular, feels like a step even further than what we just did together. It feels—permanent. A marker on the path we’ve embarked on.
But nothing could prepare me for what I see when I open the flat velvet box.
Inside, on a thin golden chain so fine I’m almost afraid to touch it, is a rose that looks as if it’s been carved from ruby and emerald, every detail exacting, down to the glimmering green thorns on the stem. In the center of the perfectly carved petals is a tiny diamond shimmering up at me.
“Oh my god.” I stare down at it, unbelieving. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen—”
Alexandre’s lips twitch in a smile. “So you like it?”
“It’s—you can’t give me this! It’s too much—”
“It’s perfect,” he says firmly. “This was meant for you,petite souris.You are the only woman I wish to wear it.” He nods towards the box. “I want very much to put it on you, but I cannot just now. You must do it yourself.” His voice softens, as much as it can. “I very much want to see it on you.”
My fingers are shaking as I take the fragile necklace out of the box, clasping it around my neck. It rests on my chest, twinkling in the light, and I touch it gingerly, terrified I’ll break it.
“I didn’t get you anything,” I protest, still touching the jeweled rose charm. “I should have—”
“You didn’t have to,” Alexandre says firmly. “You were given to me as a gift, Noelle—but you giving yourself to me was a better gift than anything I have ever received.” He looks up at me, his eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them. “You have given me more than enough,petite.”
Tears well in my eyes as I lean down to kiss him, my fingers threading through his hair. “Merry Christmas,” I whisper softly. “I love you, Alexandre.”
“And I you,” he murmurs against my mouth, before the kiss deepens, and I forget for several minutes more anything other than the feel of his lips against mine and everything that means for us both.
28
ALEXANDRE
NEW YEAR’S EVE
On Christmas morning, in the very early hours of it, I came alive again. And since then, in the days that pass, I want to spend every waking moment with my Noelle.
Of course, not every one of them can be mine. As much as I want to chafe against that, I know that part of earning her trust and love is giving her that space. One condition of our relationship that she was adamant about was making a life for herself here in Paris as we ‘test the waters,’ as she put it, not immediately moving in with me again, as I would have preferred.
I know a large part of that has to do with her brother, Georgie. I knew she was fiercely devoted to him, but I hadn’t realized how much. Within days of the holiday, she’s found an apartment for them, using the last of the money I gave her. It took a great deal of convincing for her to agree to let me support them until she could find a job here. Still, when I reminded her of all the days she spent cleaning my apartment without pay, she reluctantly agreed to accept it as a restitution of sorts.
“If you feel I have overpaid you,” I tease her one afternoon as we sit on the sofa in the living room, “I can think of ways for you to work it off.”
Noelle glares at me, but before long, she’s kissing me, and before much longer still, she’s in my lap, straddling me as her dress rides up above her perfect thighs, and she slips me inside of her.
Mypetiteis insatiable for me, and every moment that we can, we spend in each other’s arms. She’s often worried about hurting me or delaying my healing process, but I insist to her that I’m confident our lovemaking mends me more with each day. Though I mean it as a joke, I’m not entirely sure that it’s not true. When I see her atop me, her smooth pale skin against mine, the rose necklace resting above her breasts, I feel as if I’ve been born anew. The man I was before, the monster, is gone.
I am hers now.
By New Year’s Eve, I feel the strongest I’ve been since that fateful night that she found me in the kitchen, and I make tentative plans, wanting to surprise her. When she arrives from her afternoon touring the city with her brother, red-cheeked and eyes sparkling, I meet her at the door.
“You must be feeling better.” She goes up on her tiptoes, kissing me lightly. “You look as if you’re up to something.”