I’d tried not touching my pets. I hadn’t exposed even a single one of them to my lusts until Ana threw herself at me. I tried giving in to it with her, and yet neither way kept any of them with me. Whether I touched them or not, whether I took them into my bed or not, they all left.
It doesn’t seem to matter. But Noelle stayed.
Why?
I can’t bring myself to stop her. Her hand slides down again, pulling away from my shaft briefly to cup my balls, and I moan helplessly again. Her fingers stroke me lightly, sliding up again to wrap around my cock, stroking with more surety now, and I feel myself throb in her fist, so close.
I don’t want to come. I don’t want this to end.
“Is this good?” Noelle glances at me; her eyes are wide and worried. “I’ve never—so I don’t know—”
“It’s—incredible—” I manage. “I can’t—describe—oh god. It’s so good—merde—”
I moan, my hips shuddering under her touch, and she gently rests her left hand on my hipbone, shifting. Her touch feels almost gentle, soothing, and at the same time, the most intense sexual pleasure I’ve ever felt in my life. Her hand around my cock tightens as if bracing me there, and then to my shock, she leans down and flicks her tongue out, sliding it over and around my cockhead.
My entire body jerks, shuddering. “Oh god—Noelle!” I cry out, my hands flexing despite themselves, and the pain that shoots up my arms is almost enough to cut through the pleasure, but not quite. Her tongue flicks over me again, warm and wet, and my hips jerk upwards helplessly, pushing more of my cock over her tongue.
“Fuck, fuck, merde—”I curse in English and French both, the words tumbling over my lips, and she looks up at me. Just the sight of her wide eyes looking up from my cock is enough to send a flood of pre-cum dripping from my tip, and when she licks it up, I feel my balls tighten warningly.
“I wanted to know how you would taste,” she whispers, her lips and tongue still brushing over me. “I like it—”
“Oh—” I feel the first ripple go through me, a shudder of pleasure wracking me down to my bones. “Fuck—Noelle, I’m going to—I can’t stop it, I—”
Her eyes widen as she understands, and I expect her to pull back, even to stop touching me altogether. But as I stare down at her, shuddering with the most intense pleasure I’ve felt in months, what feels like so much longer than even that, she takes the first few inches of my cock in her mouth, her lips tightening around me, and starts tosuck.
She sucks and strokes all at once, her rhythm off, as awkward as any first time would be expected to be, but I barely notice. After months without touching a woman, months of torturing myself with denied release, the heat of her mouth and the sucking of her lips, the pressure of her hand, all feels as if it could kill me with the intensity of the pleasure. I jerk and shudder under her touch, unable to grab onto anything, the sounds coming from me something deep and primal as I start to come, harder than I ever have in recent memory.
And she doesn’t stop.
She keeps sucking, licking, stroking as my cum spurts over her tongue, into her mouth, and I feel herswallow.I feel as if I might pass out from the sheer pleasure of it, as my hips jerk upwards, thrusting into her mouth, the orgasm taking over me so completely that I feel it in my teeth, in my bones, in my very soul. I keep coming, filling her mouth again and again, and she swallows every drop.
And then, as Noelle slides her mouth off of my cock, she swirls her tongue around it, licking up every last bit, cleaning me of my release.
She leans back on her heels, letting go of my shaft as she strokes my hips, my thighs, her fingers running over my skin. I can see the flush in her cheeks, her quick breathing, and there’s a tiny hint of my cum on her lower lip, a white pearl of it near the corner.
Shame washes over me, hot and thick, and tears fill my eyes.I don’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve pleasure.
Why didn’t she let me die?
“Go.” The word comes out hoarsely. I want to curl in on myself, but I can’t even move. The orgasm wrang every last bit of strength I had out of me, and I can’t move my hands at all. “Please, just leave me alone—”
Noelle lets out a small gasp. “Alexandre—”
The sound of my name on her lips, pleading for me, cuts me to my core. “Just leave me alone!”
She makes a tiny sound, scrambling off of the bed. I don’t watch her go, closing my eyes tightly against the tears that threaten to come. I didn’t want her to leave. I wanted her to stay, to lay next to me. I wanted more of her gentleness, her sweetness, the pleasure of even having her near me of her own free will.
But Anastasia was like this at first, too. Before she left me.
I can’t bear to lose someone again.
It’s better if she hates me.
18
NOELLE
I’m almost in tears as I leave the room in a rush, my hands shaking.