But of course, I am.
“I’m just worried about you,” I say. “If you and Simon get into a fight over this trust money, and he’s capable of something like violence—”
“So you do think he did it.”
“Hey.” I pull her up to me so we’re face-to-face. “I’ve never met the guy. I have no idea what he’s capable of. You tell me he didn’t do it, then he didn’t do it. I just want you to be careful.Youare what matters to me. You’re my long-term investment.”
“Ahh...” Vicky reaches down between my legs. “All this talk of violence and murder got you worked up.”
God, this woman knows me well, which is pretty impressive, considering my entire identity is a lie.
She straddles me, and I slide into her, thrusting upward. Vicky moans in response. It’s been an hour since our last time, so I have some staying power. I’ll take her for a good long ride.
She goes off into that faraway place of hers, then leans forward, her arms taut on each side of me. Her face close to mine. Her jaw clenched.
She opens her eyes and slows things down to a gentle rhythm. She leans forward, nose to nose, and whispers to me.
“Simon did it. He killed his father. I didn’t try to stop him. And I married him anyway. I married him for his money. So now you know. Now’s your chance to run as far away as you can.”
I thrust upward, Vicky bobbing, closing her eyes in response.
“I’m not... running away,” I say.
“You don’t know me,” she says, eyes still closed, her head turned away. “You can’t trust me.”
“I know you. I trust you.” Running my hands over her body, picking up speed, the heat rising within me.
“Nobody’s... ever... trusted me,” she says, breathing hard, head leaned back.
I’ve never come so hard in my life.
45
Wednesday, October 19, 2022
“You didn’t tell her,” you said, reading my face when you opened the door.
“It’s... not an easy conversation to have.”
“Have you made an appointment with that divorce lawyer?”
“I called him,” I said, but that was a lie, and I made that vow, I’d never lie to you, Lauren, so with my tail between my legs, I corrected the record. “I started to call but hung up. This isn’t easy, Lauren. C’mon.”
“You want me to ‘c’mon,’ like this is some casual thing? Are you committed to us or not?”
I am madly, desperately in love with you, Lauren. That is one thing that is not in doubt. But you have to know how hard this will be for Vicky. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you let me make this decision?
“I’m not going to be that woman,” you said. “I’m not going to nag at you and beg and plead and demand. If you don’t want to commit to me—”
“I’ll tell her tonight,” I promised.
And I will. Vicky will be home soon, and I’m going to tell her. God, this is going to be brutal. Oh, she’s home, she’s coming up the stairs right
46
Simon
I drop my green journal into my work bag as Vicky comes into my home office upstairs. “I thought I might find you here,” she says.