“I wanted to ask him why he’d say it’s me,” I shrug.
“Do not do that,” Hanks says, with an almost menacing tone of voice.
“Why not?” I ask. “I mean, if it’s his word against mine, I want him to say it to my face, that he thinks I’m behind what happened to him.”
“No,” Hank keeps shaking his head at him. “You can’t do that. The police will have a field day with it. They’ll use it against you, make it seem as if you went there to threaten him. I can’t advise you enough against it, Dominic.”
“Alright then,” I agree. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do. That’s crucial. Do you understand?”
This time, I only nod.
“OK then, as long as we’re clear on that,” he ends our conversation on that. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Hank,” I shake his hand, then see him out, and a few moments later, I’m alone in the office.
I have meetings all day, and I’m on the verge of canceling them all. I doubt I’d be able to focus on anything, even if my life depended on it, but like Hank said, I have to pretend that everything is alright and that this isn’t affecting me in any way.
To be honest, it’s not. I couldn’t care less what happened to Morris or who it was that he pissed off. All I care about is getting this dirt off my name and moving on with my life. I have Marley to take care of. I can’t let anything happen to me or to her. And this accusation is the last thing I needed.
At that moment, my phone rings and I lift the receiver.
“Yes?” I answer.
“Mr. Hart?” Dorothy speaks calmly on the other end of the line. “I apologize for the interruption, but Mr. Higgins is here.”
My first meeting for the day needs to start any moment. With every fiber of my being, I want to tell her to cancel everything, every single meeting, so I could rush to pick up Marley and spend the day with her, not thinking about any of this nonsense but I can’t do that. I have to follow Hank’s advice.
“Send him in, Dorothy,” I hear myself say, hanging up the phone.
I sit down in my leather chair, which squeals under my weight. I could use a drink about now, just to calm my nerves, if nothing else. Because that is the only thing I can calm down right now. But that won’t leave a good impression on Higgins or any of the other clients I am to meet today.
I resist the urge as I open my laptop and bring a few documents to the screen, trying to focus on the upcoming conversation. Fortunately, Higgins likes to take the lead. Usually, I don’t allow him, but this time, he’s in luck. All I want is to listen, nothing else.
My mind wanders to Marley, her sweet face. Immediately, there is the talon of fear, that threatens to take her away from me. If I’m found guilty of this crime, whether or not I committed it, I won’t be seeing her. Our meetings will be restricted to prison visits. Who will take care of her? Lilly?
My mind brings Lilly’s sweet face to the front. I remember the sound of her voice, the feel of her fingers and lips. I don’t know why I’m fighting this, when it’s obvious that I have feelings for her. I can’t even tell when they started to surface. Maybe it was after we had sex, or maybe it was even before, only I tried to banish these sensations from my mind and heart.
I guess it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that she is inside of me, inside my heart, and I’m not sure whether there is a way of removing her from there. Maybe I don’t even want to.
Only… there is Marley. I can’t get close to someone, only to break up with them. Especially not if that someone is Lilly. What if Marley gets too attached to her, and then our relationship doesn’t work out? What then? How will Marley feel? It will break her heart. I won’t be the cause of that sweet child’s heartbreak. I would rather break my own, even if that means turning my back on someone I might have a future with.
I need a guarantee for this, but I know that there are no guarantees in love, just like there are no guarantees in life. The risk is too great. I don’t dare take it.
A sudden knock on the door reminds me that there is work to be done. I can’t lose myself in daydreaming, not at work, not now. I need to have all my wits about me.
The door opens, and Dorothy ushers in Mr. Higgins, whose wide grin assures me that he is happy to be here. That at least, makes one of us.
“Mr. Hart!” he exclaims, as if we are old friends who haven’t seen each other in decades and are only now reuniting after so many things have happened, and we need to share them all.
“Mr. Higgins,” I smile back, a little less enthusiastically, but I hope that I look partly as cheerful as he does.
We start on a light note, and slowly move on to more serious matters. Strangely, Mr. Higgins manages to keep me occupied for a whole hour, which is as much as our meeting lasts. Upon his departure, the firm shake of his hand reminds me that there are still people who like you, people who will help you, if only you ask them to.
I have never been good at asking for help, but maybe this time, I need to bow my head down and do exactly that. This feels like a battle I can’t win on my own.