“Exactly,” Alex confirms, and that’s when I realize that he’s right.
“You think I’ll be a suspect?” I wonder, strangely titillated by the idea.
I never thought I’d ever be in such a situation, and yet, from where I’m standing now, it seems more and more plausible with each passing moment.
“A person of interest for sure,” he assures me. “You know what the three main reasons for crimes are?”
I think about it for a moment. “Money, jealousy and vengeance?”
“Bingo,” he points his index finger at me. As he bends the other fingers, I see his wedding ring digging into the flesh. “Money is the first one.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I sigh. “I have the most to gain with him out of the picture.”
“Yes,” he agrees.
“Well, they can come for all I care,” I shrug, taking a seat. “I’ve got nothing to hide. Although I hope the old bastard appears at some point. It won’t be as much fun without him. This way, I have someone to compete against. Without him, there’s no one on our level.”
Alex just nods again, which I take to be the end of the conversation. I turn my attention to my laptop, and we spend the next hour discussing the latest developments regarding our newest project.
As soon as I am left alone again, my thoughts go back to Morris. The whole thing is weird. The idea of him just disappearing on his own without telling anyone, especially his family, seems improbable. It’s crazy to assume that he could just disappear on his own accord, and not have the world alarmed by it.
I wonder what’s really happening. It’s not every day that the head and CEO of one of the city’s two biggest companies goes missing, and for three whole days. Something’s fishy.
I try focusing on work, but there’s little I can do. I keep thinking about Morris, about Marley, about Lilly.
Lilly is the one that sticks in my head the longest this time. It’s been more than a week since we had sex. I can’t even say had sex; I have to say it like it is… since I took her virginity. I expected things to be awkward, but somehow, we kept out of each other’s way and that has been working so far.
But if it’s working, then why am I thinking about her more than before?
Maybe I just need to get laid again, but with someone else. Only, the idea of fucking someone else doesn’t tempt me at all. The very thought of her tight, wet folds and the way she moaned makes me forget all about the other women. As if they don’t exist anymore.
I sigh heavily. That’s not a good sign. The best thing would be not to see her at all. I’m no good for her. I’m no good for any woman. Things are perfect the way they are now. There is no need to change anything.
I know that is selfishness talking. Marley is a girl. She needs a woman’s presence in her life. With a boy, it would be easy. Sometimes, I feel like I’m slipping away, and I don’t know how to stop it. I close my eyes tightly and immediately, I see Marley’s face. I hear her voice. She is the one thing that is able to ground me, to keep me from slipping away, from disappearing.
I walk over to the window again. The city lays prostrate before me. It knows it belongs to me. I used to know it belonged to me, too. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m not sure about anything anymore, other than the fact that Marley needs me. What I need doesn’t matter. It is irrelevant.
She needs Lilly, too. That is what’s making this situation so difficult. I should keep away from Lilly, for her own good, and I find myself drawn to her more and more. That night was a mistake. A bigger mistake than I could have imagined, and there is no way of taking it back.
Sometimes I think I can’t do this parenting thing. It’s too hard. It’s too demanding. It forces you to sacrifice everything you have but in return, you become a god in the eyes of your child, and there is no other feeling like it. All I need is for Marley to look at me once, just once, the way that she does, and I feel invincible. I feel like the strongest man in the world, and I am, for her.
I consider calling Lilly, just so I could see what they are up to, but I decide against it. I’ve never done it before. She might read too much into it, and that’s the last thing I need right now. I’ll just wait until I get home tonight, in hopes that it won’t be too late for Marley to stay up, so we can read.
I think of Morris again, but I brush him off easily. I’m sure it’s nothing. He’s too important to be kidnapped, too well-guarded. That can’t be it. There’s something else behind it, something that we aren’t seeing. I’m sure that he’ll appear at some point, in good health and he’ll laugh in everyone’s faces for being all worried about him.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what’s going to happen. What else could it be?
With those reassuring thoughts, I actually manage to get some work done. Alex joins me once again in the afternoon, but we don’t discuss Morris this time. We focus on work, until I check my watch and realize that I need to get going.
“We’ll finish it tomorrow,” I tell Alex getting up and closing my Mac, signaling that my workday has ended.
“It’ll take us just fifteen minutes,” he says.
“I know you’re a workaholic,” I smile, “and I appreciate that, but Marley is waiting for me. So, this’ll have to wait till tomorrow.”
He understands. He probably forgot what it’s like to have little kids, as it was such a long time for him.
“Enjoy it while it lasts,” he winks at me, also getting up from the table. “Soon, she won’t want to be seen around you, let alone spend time with you.”