A part of me wonders if she’ll add that she likes me, too, but it’s best if she doesn’t.
“Maybe we could pretend as if last night never happened?” she asks.
That is a question I am wondering myself.
“That would be best, yes,” I nod.
“Then… can we do that?”
She offers me her hand. I hesitate for a moment, then shake it. As quickly as I touched her, I pull away, feeling as if she scorched me.
“Yes,” I nod once more for confirmation.
Whatever it was that we were supposed to sign, we signed it. Only, I’m not sure about this deal and how it will end.
All that matters is that Marley is happy. And Marley likes Lilly, which means that Lilly stays. I just need to keep my distance from her. That’s all. How hard can it be?
“I left some money on the counter,” I tell her. “So, you girls can do whatever you want today. Treat yourselves.”
“Thank you,” she smiles almost as if nothing happened.
“I should be back no later than nine,” I inform her, getting the hang of our usual talk at this point.
It’s hard to keep pushing away the sight of her naked body from the eye of my mind, but I manage somehow. The crucial thing is to remind myself that it will never happen again. It was a mistake. Not the worst mistake you could have happen to you, but a mistake, nonetheless.
“I’ll get Marley ready for bed,” she tells me.
“Thank you,” I nod.
The more we talk about the usual things, the more I start to think that this might actually work. I just have to forget what she looks like naked. What she sounds like naked as well.
I linger on for a few seconds longer, not really sure why. Maybe because I wanted to keep talking about the usual, everyday things that will make me feel even more normal, assured that it was just a mistake and that we won’t make it happen again.
But the conversation feels over.
“Alright then,” I say, turning away and heading for the door.
I close it behind me, without saying goodbye. I continue towards the kitchen, when suddenly, Marley jumps from out of her room.
“Boo!” she shouts, her chubby little fingers in the form of two claws.
I don’t need to pretend I’m scared. I really am, as I stumble backwards and almost fall, throwing Marley into a bout of unrepressed laughter. The best kind.
“You think it’s funny, huh?” I ask, the memory of the conversation I had already blurring into oblivion, as everything else does when I’m with Marley.
“It is,” she chuckles, pressing her hand to her chest. “You should have seen your face.”
“I’m glad I didn’t,” I frown. “But what are you doing up? You should be sleeping.”
“I wanted to wish you a safe trip,” she says, propping herself up on her toes, which is always a signal for me to bend down so she can kiss me on the forehead.
I don’t know when that very adult sort of goodbye started to take place, but now I’m glad it’s there.
“I’ll miss you,” I tell her, meaning every word of it.
Suddenly, I remember how the three of us spent the day together yesterday. It was a day unlike any other, a day that will never happen again. A day that almost looked like we were one big happy family.
I look down at Marley. Her eyes are so bright, so full of hope. I know she needs a woman’s touch. She is getting older and older, and soon, there will be things that she won’t want to talk to me about. I dread that, but I also know that there is nothing I can do about it. It is just life.