“You can prattle on all you like. I think you even believe the bullshit you spouted in there, which is truly sad. But none of that changes the fact that despite your claims to be a good Christian, you aren’t a good person, and don’t you dare claim to be a good mother. You may have birthed this girl, but you are no mother. You need kindness, patience and love to be a mother. Good qualities for a Christian, by the way, as well. You used to have those. Now you are nothing more than a scared, insecure, self-righteous, selfish bitch.”
Her mother lowered her gaze and swallowed several times. She began fussing with the clasp of her hand bag and gave a small clearing of her throat before she turned around and walked away, leaving Ava standing, staring at an empty space until her father closed the distance between them.
“I’m so sorry.” he said.
“Don’t be. Let’s go.”
“Ava...”
“Take me to the gym.”
“Ava, wait...”
“No waiting. I’m supposed to train, right? So let’s train. I need to blow off steam.”
Both boys and her father went with her to the gym they were renting. Ava pounded the pads that Ruben held for a solid hour, for all the good it did.
Long gone were the cameras, the taunts of the crowd, the questions of the media. The court case was over, but its memory hovered.
“Hold them up.” Ava snapped, sweat trickling down her back, leaving droplets on the floor.
“Babes, stop for a second.”
“Hold them up! Come on!”
Ruben threw the pads down and put his hands on his hips. “ ENOUGH! You’re hurting. I get it. We all do. But this won’t help. I know how you feel.”
“No. You don’t. You have no idea. I can’t lose again. I won’t.”
Ava moved past him and on to the heavy bag, yelling with exertion and pain as she struck the bag with her weak leg, over and over. Through gritted teeth, she overheard Ruben’s exasperated tone behind her to the others.
“She’s running on pure fury. I can’t get through to her.”
“Let me try?” came the request from the last person Ava would’ve ever expected. Her father made his way over to her, and for the longest time, didn’t say a word. He stood behind her, simply watching. It had an unnerving effect. One that actually made her pause her strikes.
“OK, what?” Ava asked, heaving her breaths, turning around to face him. “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry we lost the case. I’m sorry it was all for nothing.”
“So am I. But not nearly as sorry as I am to see you fighting again.”
Ava’s mouth dropped. “Are you serious, right now? After everything that’s gone on, you’re choosingnowto bring up the fact you hate me fighting?”
“I bring it up because you said it made you happy. You don’t look very happy. Not at all.”
“I’m in a foul mood. Speaking to Mum has a tendency to do that.”
“Yes, I know. But I don’t think this is about your mother. Not all of it. So why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?”
“Everything! What’s right, for fucks sake?” she asked. “Look at us! We are weeks away from a match against a woman that wants to kick my face in, and I can’t even run up a sand hill! You said we had right on our side in the court case. I told the truth and look where we are? We lost anyway. Van Gould is a free man. I don’t matter. What I went through doesn’t matter. He’ll do the exact same thing to someone else, and I can’t do anything to stop him.
And Jasmine...” She gave a huff of disbelief from what she was about to say. “I just let her walk out of my life. She wanted me to go away with her, away from all of this, so that I didn’t have to go through this shit anymore. But no. Ever the fighter, I just had to stay. I basically held the door open for the woman I love to walk straight past me.”
Ava screamed and launched three hard kicks into the bag
“You’d still be in the same place if she was here, Ava,” William offered gently. “And since when have you ever been one to complain about things being too hard?”
“Since I chose this!” she bellowed. “I put myself here. No one else. It’s my doing. I blame me! What the fuck am I even doing here? Maybe mum was right. Maybe I am broken.”
“You’re not broken. You’re human. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. Your mother especially.”