“I dunno. I mean, I live with them so I would notice more. I just... something seems off. I thought you might have a different perspective, that maybe I’m too close. I don’t want to snoop. I’m just worried.”
“If they are having issues and you don’t know, it’s probably for the best.”
The straight laced tone Jasmine used struck Ava as weird. “I guess. I just hope it’s got nothing to do with this, with what happened to me.”
“Well if it does, and that’s a big if, it’s not your fault. You know that, right?”
“Maybe not, but if I am the reason... Anyway, that’s not my main question. Thank you for being here for me, but... what does your husband think of you being away so much?”
Jasmine pressed her lips together and tilted her head to the side, as if thinking. “I don’t have anything else in my life but him and you. I know, I know, it’s sad. As long as I’m home to cook, it’s all good.”
Home to cook?That line made Ava want to ask if he couldn't read a recipe book, but she didn't. “I see,” she muttered instead. “I hope we can meet soon. He and I.”
Jasmine gripped her hand a touch tighter and leaned forward slightly. “Ava.” She paused at the look Ava gave her. “I dunno. I would love that. I really would. But he and his family are really religious.”
“Oh God. This again.”
“No, it’s not like what we went through. It was weird for me at first, though. I’ve never thought that way about a guy before. We met at a Church group, and I told him all about my past. Our past. He didn’t judge me, and I was floored. I guess that’s why I fell for him. I mean, his views on marriage roles are outdated, I guess, but it’s no big deal.”
“Roles? As in what he expects of you?”
Jasmine kept her eyes down for a moment. “Yeah, you know, the wife belongs at home and the husband is the money maker. The protector.”
“Does he protect you?”
Jasmine swallowed. “Yes, actually. From myself.”
It was then Ava locked eyes with her. “What?” she whispered.
“I guess you could say,” Jasmine said, taking time with her words, looking away again, “that being a lesbian isn't the worst thing I’ve done... by society's standards I mean. I was a danger to myself for a time after we broke up.”
“You tried to kill yourself?”
“No! God no. It was bad but not that bad. I was cutting.”
Now Ava held her hand tighter. “Oh Jazz...”
“It’s OK. Now, it’s OK. He really helped me break out of that depression. I’ve gone a while without it.”
“He sounds dreamy.”
Jasmine sighed and gave a half smile. “Don’t be like that. There’s no such thing as perfection. In the beginning, there were a lot of issues we had to sort out. We were in two different places when it came to sex. He thought I would be into things I wasn’t. Swapping and stuff. At first, I thought he meant nudes with each other, but then I caught him sharing with his best friend when we were first going out.”
“He what?”
“Yeah. Him and his fucking creepy best friend Ryan. Swapping nudes on their phones. Comparing them. The creep even told me he jacked off over my pics, and he tried to get me over to his apartment to film me for a website. Just... ugh...” She shook her head as if shivering. “I’ve never been happier going to someone’s funeral.”
“He died?”
“Rumour has it he was murdered. I’d believe it too. But, in an odd way, after the funeral, things between Adam and me improved. And they’ve been OK ever since. He knew what he did was wrong.”
Ava wanted to respond but didn’t. She took a deep breath and forced a small smile. “Well, thanks to both of you for the flowers.”
“What flowers?”
“While I was in the States? In hospital. The lilies every few days.”
“I didn’t send you anything, hun.”