Owen ran a hand through his hair and with his other he searched for his keys. Hearing, but not listening. All he could think of was getting to Tegan. Calling her, at least, before she read the article. Explaining. Apologizing if necessary. “Yeah, sure.”
* * *
Owen made sure to check his speed on the way back to Tegan’s even though her not picking up when he tried to call her was concerning. Hopefully, she was just asleep. He parked and made his way to the entrance of the building, but he paused to look around, fearful he was being watched even now. Was there some photographer in a car, or in the bush, clicking away? Did they know who lived here? It wouldn’t take too long to find out. And that he had been there more than once.
He moved the thought out of his head, or tried to, as he made his way up the stairs. He used the spare key Tegan had given him and found the apartment looking empty, yet the lights were on.
“Hello?” he called before the sound of the shower reached him. He made his way to the bathroom and opened the door, expecting her to be washing herself. But she wasn’t. She sat with her knees high to her chest, allowing the water to fall over her head, drenching her naked body. Silently, he closed the distance between them and opened the shower door. She looked up at him with trembling, slightly blue lips. He didn’t want to guess why she felt she had to be on the shower floor or how long she had been there. Something was wrong. Something had happened.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Her face told him. He touched the tap, but instead of turning it off, he twisted it to make the water slightly hotter and sat down with her. As he became level with her, she gripped his arms and pressed her head to the side, silently begging him to hold her. She shook in his arms with almost silent sobs as he ran his hands along her back.
“Talk to me?” he asked into her ear.
“I can’t. I just can’t...”
“OK. OK,” he said, kissing her saturated hair. “What do you need?”
“Will you just hold me...”
He tightened his grip on her as he answered, “For as long as you want.”
10
Tegan saton the edge of her bed, eyes burning from lack of sleep and crying. She had spent the majority of the night and early morning telling Owen everything. Everything she had been told, or really, everything she had processed enough to remember. She had been given a pelvic exam and ultrasound which had confirmed the doctor’s news. A tennis ball sized lump on one ovary.
Tegan was fortunate, she had been told. She was at stage one of the disease, and it had not spread yet. Not that they could tell. Apparently, that was a big plus. There was a good chance if they removed one ovary and hit her uterus with aggressive chemo, she should make a full recovery. Her doctor's definition of aggressive chemo: five days a week for nine weeks.
The pregnancy, though, was another issue. She was in the first trimester. Only just begun really. She could keep the foetus and prolong her treatment, but that would severely hamper the chance of success. And it would almost be a certainty the disease would spread. Perhaps to her other ovary. Perhaps to her whole uterus. Then she would need a hysterectomy. Or, into herit could spread into her bloodstream. From what the doctors said, it even though it wasn’t exactly a death sentence, it was a virtual countdown.
She and Owen had talked long into the night. He had listened for the longest time, merely nodding or telling her to continue. Ultimately, when he did speak, he came to the same conclusion she had. Together, they made the hardest choice of all. They would lose their baby to focus on saving her life. He had held her hand, kissed it, and said, “As hard as it is... you know it makes sense.”
“But it’s just not fair...” She choked out. “So many women and couples can’t get pregnant. They’ll never know what this is like...” She held her stomach, cringing. “I can... I feel it. And it has to go away. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t this have gone to someone that can give this baby what it needs? I can’t even give it life...”
“Stop...” Owen had said, cupping her face. “It’s not your fault.”
She knew he was right, of course. It was no one’s fault. But she had to blame something. Someone. To simply shrug her shoulders and just say it was “one of those things” was too hard.
Now, she watched Owen pace the room, wearing only underwear as he held his mobile to his ear, on a call he had been on for twenty minutes. His second call in thirty minutes. The first had been his to the director of the commercial shoot to reschedule hiss appearance. Tegan was due for her first official appointment and procedure today, and in Owen’s own words, he wouldn’t miss being by her side.
The call had been calm on Owen’s end. Polite. But Tegan could only imagine the anger and confusion on the other end. A lot of money had been put into the shoot. The contract was worth millions. Owen not showing up put the whole thing in jeopardy.
After he had hung up from the director, not five minutes later, the head of the car company called him, and here he was. Still arguing, still going back and forth. He never mentioned the real reason he had to reschedule, which no doubt fanned the flames, and the call ended with an expletive laden screech on the other end before Owen finally hung up.
“You didn’t have to do th—”
Owen gently placed his fingers over her mouth. “I wanted to. I want to be there as much as possible for you. I have to leave for the fight, but when it’s over, I’ll come straight back before I go into training camp.”
“Do you have to?”
“Do I have to what? Come back? Of course I hav—”
“Fight,” she replied simply. “Why do you put yourself through everything you’ve told me and the magazine you showed me? And you think someone in the organisation is after you?”
“It just seems too much of a coincidence that the guard would leave the only entrance to the showers to deal with a group of intruders, at the exact time it allowed the receptionist clear passage to me. It’s just too neat. I have to hazard a guess that this was supposed to be a set up.”
“Why would you want to be the champion of any organisation that treats its own athletes like this?”
“I never back down from a challenge. This is theirs to me. They want me to either fail or quit.”