“Stay with me tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Okay.”
“That was easier than I thought it would be,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose. “We better get back out there before they send out the search party. The last thing I want is to embarrass you in front of my family.”
“We should talk,” I say. “About what you said.”
“We will. Not here. I want to make sure I give you my undivided attention when we have that conversation.”
Without another word, he pulls open the door, and we step out hand in hand. He weaves us into the crowd as if we’d always been there. We wait patiently for our turn to congratulate Brooks and Palmer before returning to our seats.
“Daddy!” Blakely comes rushing toward us. Declan scoots his chair back from the table and catches her as she launches herself at him. “I’m gonna have a baby girl cousin,” she tells him.
“I heard. You’re going to have to teach her everything you know.”
She nods. “Uncle Brooks says she won’t be my sister.” Her nose scrunches up.
“No, sweetie,” Ramsey says gently. “We talked about this, remember?”
“I know.” Blakely sighs. “Daddy needs a wife for me to get a brother or sister.” She sounds completely defeated.
“Thanks, Rams,” Declan says, his voice thick.
I love the dynamics of this family. They’re all there to jump in when needed. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and Declan has that. Blakely is a very lucky little girl to have so many people who love and care about her.
My heart breaks for her and what she’s missing. She longs for the conventional family, and with every fiber of my being I wish that I could give that to her.
“Remember when we talked about love and patience?” Ramsey asks her.
“You tolded me that Daddy needed to fall in love to have a wife and a baby.”
“That’s right.” Ramsey smiles at her. “And that love takes time. You have to find someone special.”
Blakely rests her head on her dad’s shoulder, and we all assume the conversation is over. My heart squeezes in my chest for this little girl and her daddy and all that they’ve lost. She’s trying to understand why she doesn’t have a mommy here on earth with her and why everyone else seems to be getting married and having babies, but not her daddy. It’s heartbreaking to witness. Declan holds on to her. He kisses the top of her head over and over while running his hands up and down her back, trying to soothe her and possibly himself as well.
We’ve talked a lot about Cassie and my ex-husband, Lyle. I know the guilt he feels for letting Cassie leave that night. Her passing wasn’t his fault or even hers, but the guilt for his little girl still weighs heavy on him.
Deacon, Ramsey, Sterling, and Alyssa are all sitting at our table with us. They’re talking about Ryder and his mystery girl. Declan is lost in his thoughts, and I can’t tear my eyes away from Declan and his daughter to pay attention to the conversation.
That’s when Blakely lifts her head, her eyes finding mine. “Kenny?”
“Yeah, sweetie?” I lean up in my chair to be closer to her.
“You’re special,” she tells me.
I didn’t know it was possible for your heart to feel as if it’s swelling like an overinflated balloon, but at this moment, I know it’s more than possible. “You’re pretty special too.” I reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear.
“Daddy, you like kissing Kenny. Can she be your special person so we can have a wife and a baby brother or sister?” she asks.
“Baby girl.” Declan’s voice cracks. He hugs her tight as I sit frozen in my seat. The table around us is quiet as six adults try to navigate an explanation of adult relationships to this little girl.
“Can I hold her?” I ask Declan. My voice is soft and raspy from the emotions flowing through me.
He nods, swallowing hard. “You want to sit with Kenny?” he asks her.
Her reply is to reach her arms out to me. I pull her onto my lap and hug her as tightly as I can without crushing her. I don’t bother to lower my voice, knowing that everyone at this table, especially Declan, is going to hang on my every word. I don’t know what I’m going to say until I open my mouth and words begin to flow.
“Blakely, you are so incredibly special,” I tell her. “You’re bright, beautiful, and such a joy to be around.” I pause to take a breath and will my tears at bay. “I care about you and your daddy very much. I would be honored to be the special person in your life and your daddy’s. But, sweetheart, I don’t live here.” I might as well start this process. It’s going to hurt all of us regardless of when I end up leaving Willow River. “I live in a different state. That’s where my mommy and daddy live.”