The truth is, he wasn't wholly responsible; someone else had been pulling his strings. When I think about the fact that I'm the one who brought this into her life, it hurts more than my hand does.
Someone mentioned calling the cops, but I talked them out of it. Giving some bullshit excuse when they questioned why.
I couldn't very well share my thoughts at this point; I couldn't let anyone else know what I was thinking. I want to take care of this myself, and I'm not one hundred percent sure how it will end.
"Get him outta here."
"Where should we take him?"
"Leave him on the sidewalk. I don't care."
My insides were burning up with rage, but I didn't let on to what was going on in my mind when I finally went to her. She was still shaking, still looking terrified, as I lifted her to sit on my lap. It's funny; I never noticed how tiny she is compared to me. My stomach turned at the thought of him getting to her and what could've happened.
"Leave us alone." I sent her girls away and waited for them to close the door before turning my attention back to her. "It's okay, baby, don't be afraid; I'm here." As I held her close, trying to offer comfort, the enormity of the situation really hit home. What would've happened if I hadn't had that gut feeling? If I hadn't been on high alert the whole time, I was on the field?
I questioned every move I made, from leaving her here alone when I didn't feel good about doing it to not taking more safety measures. I'd let my guard down since the case had pretty much come to an end, had slept on the kind of person Susie really is. It wasn't lost on me that had I taken care of her a long time ago, like Chad said, none of this would be happening. So as mad as I was at her, I held most of the blame.
"Tell me what happened." I'd heard his side, but I needed to know her side, how she felt, her fear, so I could make it right.
"There was a knock at the door. I thought the movers had forgotten something because they'd just left, plus I was in a hurry to come to the football field, so I didn't even check before opening the door."
She started shaking again, and it was all I could do not to lose it. "He pushed his way in as soon as I opened the door, and I just instinctively started running for the stairs. I ran to the bedroom and locked the door before dragging the dresser in front of it. Thankfully I hadn't packed anything away yet, so it was light enough for me to move."
"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"I left it downstairs in the kitchen; I'm sorry." She wrapped herself around me then and broke down in tears. Each one tore a hole in my heart and fed my rage to the point that I, too, was shaking.
"Okay, baby, take it easy. You're fine now; he can't hurt you." I said some other things; things meant to calm though I have no idea what they were.
We sat like that for a good while until she settled down. I did everything to hide what I was feeling; even when we went out to meet the others, who were still looking worried until they saw for themselves that she was okay, I kept my mask in place.
When we ordered out and sat around talking, I held my cool even then, even cracked a smile or two. Each time Lisa asked about Jeff, I distracted her with half-truths. I kind of expected it, so when Parker told me what they'd done to him after dragging him downstairs, I can't say that I was surprised.
Meanwhile, the doorman had been up here twice now to make sure everything was okay after realizing that he'd screwed up. Apparently, Jess had had a go at him for letting Jeff in, but the guy can't be blamed either since Jeff pretended to be part of the moving crew.
That was something else he'd disclosed in his ramblings, but what had scared me more than anything was how Susie knew that she would be alone. She's been watching my every move for days now, unbeknownst to me. For the first time since meeting Lisa's family, I think I truly realize why they are the way they are.
I hadn't thought of my part in her life now. That as the person closest to her, I'm going to have to be better than all the rest. It's only now that I realize that someone can use me to get to her just as easily, and it kinda scares the shit outta me.