So Frostie and I waited in the lobby in silence until we could get some news. Tinsel looks somber as she stares at the floor, not seeing either of us coming closer to her.
“Tin?” Frostie says, and finally Tinsel looks up. “How is she?”
For a half second, Tinsel is frozen as she sees me but shakes it off quickly as she addresses Frostie. “She’s going to be fine. It wasn't serious, but she needs to take it easy and try to rest.” Tinsel lets out a long sigh of relief. “Which could be sooner rather than later with how big she is.”
“Thank goodness,” Frostie says, and I see her grab her cell. “I’m just going to update a few people.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” she asks her roommate and goes to look for her phone in her pocket. “Shit, I must have left it in the car. I wasn’t thinking.”
“That explains one thing,” I say, and Tinsel cuts her eyes to mine. “We need to talk.” Without another word, I take her by the upper arm and lead her out of the hospital.
“No can do, Jack-ass. I’ve got things to do.”
Outside of the hospital, there’s a garden area for people to sit and enjoy the view or have lunch when the weather is warmer. Right now, it’s all covered in snow, but it’s still just as peaceful. Thankfully it’s empty when we reach it, and I let go before I turn around to face her.
“Enough, Tinsel,” I snap, feeling the anger course through me. “It’s enough.”
“I thought you’d fuck me a few more times before ending things, but I see how it is.” She goes to walk away, and I grab her hand to stop her.
“What?” Now my anger is melting into confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“All of this.” She waves her hands, and I see tears in her eyes. “You know what I was thinking when I was in there with Carol?” Before I have a chance to answer, she keeps going. “I was thinking, what if I’m pregnant and I have to do this alone like she is? What if my baby has a father that keeps them at a distance until one day, bam, they finally decide they’re worth it? I won’t do that to my child, Jack.”
The anger that I was feeling dissolves instantly at seeing Tinsel distressed, and I rethink all of what’s happened and why she ran out on me this morning.
“Our child,” I cut in, and she sniffs before she tries to say something again. “No, I’m not letting you run down a train of thought that is complete bullshit.” She blinks up at me, and I move in closer, pulling her body against mine. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you, Tinsel. The very fucking moment. I kept my distance not because I didn’t want you but because I was afraid of losing you. I see that now, and I see how much fucking time I wasted because of it.”
There’s a spark of hope in her eyes, but she crushes it down quickly. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.” She shrugs, and I lean closer.
“You’re right, it is too late. It’s too late to go back to the way things were before. I’ve never touched a woman since that first time I saw you, Tinsel. Did you know that?”
“But…but what about all the—”
“No one.” My voice is filled with conviction as I gently cup her face. I’ve never been some big ladies’ man. I've always wanted what my parents had, but after losing them, I had a million other things to worry and think about. “There’s never been anyone but you for me, and I’m sorry I took so long to stop being afraid. The fear of never getting to hold you in my arms at night, or seeing you walk down the aisle wearing a white dress, or watching you rock our baby, or touching your hand as we watch our grandchildren play in the snow, is so much greater than my fear of losing you. My life without those things means nothing, Tinsel.”
“Jack.” She says my name softly as the tears fall, but I’m right there to wipe them away.
“There was part of me that was afraid of what North might say, but I realized that deep down, that wasn’t what was keeping me at a distance all those years. It was just an excuse so that I didn’t get hurt.”
She lets out a deep breath, and I feel her body relax against mine. It might be the first time that I’ve held her that her heart and mind are truly open.
“I love you, Tinsel. I’ve always loved you. You won’t ever have to worry about having our child on your own or getting rid of me. You can try all you want, but you won’t push me away. Unless you really do like the chase, in which case I can oblige on special occasions.” She laughs, and I bend down to press my lips to hers.