She rubbed the ointment into my arm, and my mouth fell open as her eyes, quite literally, glowed. She peeked up at me, noticing my stare, and grinned.
“There, all done.” She stepped back, admiring her work. I glanced down at my arm, watching in awe as the bruise started to fade. “It’ll be completely gone by the end of the day. Now, did you still want to see the greenhouse?”
I nodded and she looped her arm through mine, tugging me forward.
“Well, there’s no one better to give the tour than me.”
A genuine smile pulled at my lips as she guided me to the door.
* * *
Back in my chambers, I was feeling somewhat better after having met someone new. Someone kind and welcoming, at that. She reminded me of my mother in that way, kind to everyone.
Iaso led me through the greenhouse, explaining the different uses of each plant, and it was fascinating to hear her discuss her knowledge, even if I couldn’t keep up as she spoke. Afterward, we sat at her table, and she shared a tea she created. It was delicious and brought a sense of calm over me that carried over into the rest of the evening.
She had also explained how she had cared for Rogue after she healed him, seeing him as her own. As much as it bothered me to admit, hearing that she wasn’t with Rogue inthatway relieved some small part of me.
I couldn’t stand him and yet, I couldn’t stand the thought of him with another woman either.
Now curled in the old chair in my chambers, I watched as the flames danced. Flickers of dim, orange light and dark shadows echoed throughout the room.
Mesmerized and lost in thought, my mind returned to home. A deep, suffocating sadness washed over me. My mother would be distraught by now and she was too sweet, too tenderhearted, to be put through this. I would think my father, at least, would be desensitized to acts of war, but then again, my safety had always been his utmost priority… so maybe not.
His efforts to keep me safe had always seemed so excessive, but considering he knew Auryna was attacking the border towns, it made sense he would fear for my safety. I’m sure he worried something exactly like this would happen in some form of retribution.
I sighed.
He had always told my mother and me that there was peace between the kingdoms. Everyone in our village, all of Auryna, thought so and we had been none the wiser… His meetings with the king, were they ever truly about keeping our border safe? Or were they conspiring their next attack?
It made me physically ill to think about it.
Blackburn still hadn’t left my mind, and that was only one town. There were hundreds along the border that I hadn’t seen. All once filled with families and lives and history. All burned down and abandoned.
For the first time since I had arrived, I came to terms with Rogue’s plan. If this was what it took to stop the bloodshed, then I would willingly be the pawn that would allow him to checkmate Evander.
But what am I supposed to do when I return? I cannot go back as if I don’t know what he’s done.
I will not go back and roll over for my father, bending to his will as I always had.
I would have a voice when I returned and he would hear it. I would make him listen.
Taking a deep breath, I stood and walked to the bed, laying my head down. With my eyes locked on the fire, I lulled off into a deep, dreamless sleep.
* * *
After breakfast with Thana, I had spent all day in the library, halfway hoping to see Alden or even Rogue, but no one had appeared.
Sighing, I stood from the reading chair, grabbing the novel. As I turned to leave, Alden entered the library. A minuscule amount of excitement bubbled in my chest at the sight of a friendly face.
“Oh, Alden, hi. It’s nice to see you again,” I said as I strolled over to him and he jumped.
“Ara, how nice to see you. I am actually very busy, so I must continue on my way, but nice day to you,” he replied in a hurry and the smile slid from my lips. A look of regret passed over his face and he paused as if to speak again, before disappearing behind the shelves.
Disappointment flooded me.
I am just the human, the leverage,I reminded myself. They already treated me better than I ever could have expected, better than any prisoner could expect. It was foolish of me to expect conversation as well. But the thought did nothing to quell the disheartening loneliness that sank in my chest.
It seemed the loneliness would follow me, no matter where I went.