“Sit down, Rogue,” she ordered calmly, bringing her gaze back to me. “Let me explain.”
I sat reluctantly, needing to hear her explanation.
“After your father murdered Vaelor, she came to me. She was completely distraught. She came in here, sobbing helplessly, and told me of his death. She was hiding in his chambers when Adrastus flew in and stormed the castle in search of him. She hid as he sliced Vaelor’s throat with his claws,” she explained, her gaze distant.
My hand found my scar on instinct, shame tightening my throat as it often did when I heard the stories of his cruelty.
“After he left the room, she rushed to Vaelor and tried to stop the bleeding, but it was too late. She found me then, still covered in his blood… She told me of her pregnancy and begged me to help. She knew if anyone ever found out, if your father found out, he would kill her and the baby… So, I placed a spell over her womb to suppress the Fae blood in the child. It was the only way to keep her safe.”
Ara. Not just some child. He would’ve killed Ara.
Sweat broke out along my spine as my thoughts spiraled. I couldn’t even focus on Iaso anymore.
My father.
If Ara ever found out, she would blame me. She would know that my father was the reason she lost that half of herself and her true father. She would know he was the reason her mother had to flee in fear for her life and quickly marry Starrin, forcing her to grow up in Auryna, completely unaware of her true identity.
She would hate me.
I don’t know why I even cared at all. I shouldn’t. And yet, the thought of her hating me more than she already did sent a spike of panic in my chest.
Looking at Iaso, I couldn’t blame her. If she hadn’t placed the spell, there was no doubt Ara would be dead right now, murdered by either my father or Starrin.
“I don’t know what to do, Iaso. Do I give her back and let her go on about her life, forever in the dark? Or do I tell her?” My thoughts tumbled out of my mouth. “What would telling her even do besides giving her more reason to despise me? I have to give her back. She is the only leverage we have and this plan is the only hope for Ravaryn. And if her father—Starrin, I mean—found out before the exchange, would he still want her back?” I asked, but I knew the answer.
“No, he would sooner let Ravaryn and all its people burn to the ground before he traded his blood lust for a Fae, even one who was once his daughter… Hell, he would be the one to light the match.”
She listened to my rambling with sympathy in her eyes.
“And if he found out after… Would he even allow her to live?” I took a deep breath. “She is my mate, Iaso.”
Tears pricked her eyes. She had always wanted a mate for me, or at least someone to make me happy, and she had never been shy in saying so. Although, I’m sure this isn’t exactly what she had in mind.
“I cannot answer that for you, Rogue. I can’t tell you what to do. I, myself, put that spell on her mother’s womb. At the time, it was what was safest, but now… Is it time for the truth to be revealed? Would she be safe if it was known? Is it even your place to decide that for her?” she asked. When I didn’t respond, she continued, “Would you want to know in her situation?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, resting my head in my hands.
“I’ll leave it at this. Do you think she deserves to know?”
Of course, she does, but I’m not ready to see the look on her face when she finds out.
Guilt mixed with self-contempt sank in my gut, weighing me down to the chair.
* * *
Fury took hold of me as I left Iaso’s chambers, heading for the front door of the castle. As soon as I exited, I snapped out my wings and thrust into the sky.
My fucking father. Of course, this is his fault. It always is.
I slammed into the ground at my father’s burial ground, dust and earth flying up around me. My fire raged, thrashing beneath my skin. For once, I released it entirely, unable to hold it back any longer. The grass surrounding my feet immediately went up in flames and the fire followed behind me as I marched to his monument, scorching footprints into the marble steps.
“Why? Why were you such a fucking tyrant? Aplagueto Ravaryn. What did I do to deserve you?” I shouted at the statue of him, flames licking up his feet. “A terrible king. A terrible mate… A terrible father.”
The flames rose, engulfing him, as they should have when he was alive.
My only regret. That I didn’t burn him to ash when I had the chance.
“How can you be dead andstillhave such an effect on my life? It wasn’t enough for you to ruin me,tortureme, my entire life. You had to dig your grimy claws into me in the afterlife too, didn’t you?” My throat burned, my eyes hot. “Ruining my mate bond… Is this your revenge for me killing Mother? An eye for an eye as you always said?”