He would redeploy his team to other positions within Docherty Security, but he was out of the covert mission game.He had to put the twins’ needs first. They needed a father, and he was going to be there for them. He couldn’t be the father he wanted to be if he kept disappearing.
But he’d have to tell Heath the reason for his newly acquired interest in South Africa and why his jet would frequently be heading south of the equator from now on. Heath wasn’t only his right-hand man, he was also his closest friend, and he couldn’t wait to show him photos of Gus and Finn.
But how would he explain his relationship with Thadie...? How did he even explain her to himself? It was too easy to say they were simply connected through the boys, and would be for the rest of their lives...
No, he wouldn’t allow himself off the hook so easily. She was the woman he craved. He couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted to protect her, obviously, and the thought of her being hurt made his blood freeze. He loved making love to her, but he also enjoyed talking to her and appreciating her smart and unique take on life and the world around her. She didn’t bore him and he felt it would take many lifetimes for that to happen.
He couldn’t imagine his life without her in it. But neither could he make the mental leap to anything more solid, committed, permanent. He was becoming increasingly aware he couldn’t stay away from her, but he was living in no man’s land, unable to commit to her, ask her for more. And what did she want? She was also in a state of flux, needing time and space to plan her new life. For goodness’ sake, she’d been about to marry someone else not even two weeks ago!
This was all happening too soon, too fast.
‘What are you expecting from the next few days, Angus?’ Thadie quietly asked, her eyes still on the one-hundred-and-eighty-degree view of the Indian Ocean in front of them. How did she manage to track his thoughts, home in on what he was thinking?
He thought about making a joke, saying something about good food and great sex, but swallowed that inane reaction. He honestly didn’t know. When he’d left her, he hadn’t thought further than getting back to her, seeing her huge smile, hearing her laugh and getting her naked. For a guy who planned everything to the max, who hated to fail, his flying to Seychelles to rejoin Thadie had been an impulsive, fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants plan.
He liked her...
He liked her for many different reasons, but that didn’t mean that he was falling for her, falling in—what an asinine expression—love. He’d outgrown the need for love in his teens. It wasn’t something he wanted or needed, now or in the future. Of that he was sure.
But Thadie, as she always did—back in London, now—turned his world inside out, made him look at life differently. She had been, still was, the only person who’d ever managed to slide under his defences and tempt him to go beyond a sexual fling. Four years ago, he’d invited her into his flat, his life—telling himself he was safe because it was a temporary arrangement—and he’d rearranged his life to reconnect with her.
She made him yearn for more, for a life he’d never allowed himself to imagine.
She terrified him.
But he wasn’t prepared for her to upend his life entirely. No man’s land, that middle ground between nothing and emotional capitulation, was a safe place to hang out.
He lightly touched her back and waited for those amazing eyes to meet his. ‘Our boys will have a mum and dad, and sometimes I’ll be with you, them, and sometimes I won’t. Thanks to video-calling, I can be on the other side of a screen in a heartbeat.’
‘And you and me? What happens with us?’ Thadie quietly asked. ‘Where do you see this going?’
He thought for a moment, not knowing how to answer her. Eventually, he spoke, and his words were the best he could do. ‘Does it need to be defined? We’re modern, busy, independent people, and while I wish we both weren’t so busy and could take the time to get used to everything, I’m grateful for the little time I can spend with you.’
But damn, he wanted more... He shouldn’t but he did.
He forced himself to smile and when her lips started to curve, he bent his head to gently nip her shoulder. ‘I can give you a plan for the next few days, that’s the best I can do. I’ll spend some time working, you’ll spend some time thinking and sketching, and in between we’ll try and get through all the positions on your sexy shorts.’
It took her a few seconds to make the connection, and her laughter rolled over him, deep and dirty. She gripped his jaw in her cool hand and dropped an open-mouth kiss on his lips. ‘Deal! You’re strong and I’m flexible, let’s give it our all.’
She was flexible? Interesting, Angus thought as he followed Thadie to her feet. Trying out all those positions might put his back out, but he was game. What red-blooded man wouldn’t be?
‘What time will the helicopter get here?’ Thadie asked Angus as she smacked the button of the coffee machine to dispense two espressos into tiny mugs. His ringing phone had woken them up shortly before six this morning and Angus had walked onto the deck to take the call.
He’d spent the next half-hour on the phone and when he’d returned, he’d told her that he had to leave, that a privately hired helicopter was on its way from Mahé to collect him andferry him to Seychelles International Airport where his jet was parked.
He glanced at his watch, a vintage, rare Rolex. ‘Ten minutes or so.’ He sipped his coffee and ran a hand through his wet-from-his-shower hair. ‘I’m sorry to leave after only two days, Thadie. I wanted more. But I have a crisis at work.’
‘I’m sorry you have to leave too.’ The past two days had been some of the best of her life. They hadn’t done much work or, in her case, much thinking or sketching, but they’d talked a lot, laughed more and loved as hard and as often as they could.
Angus ignored the cup she held out to him, choosing instead to haul her against him, wrapping his big arms around her body. With him, she felt feminine and lovely, even petite. Protected.
She stood on her toes and pushed her nose into his neck, trying to imprint his hard body and clean, masculine, soap-and-sea scent onto her psyche. She didn’t want him to go. He belonged here, with her.
She’d been avoiding the thought, pushing it away but...damn. She was crazy about him, a heartbeat away from falling in love with him. Again. And the solid gold truth was that they belonged with him...her and the two little guys they’d made on a cold night in London.
Terrifying but still true.
‘I want to tell them about you,’ she murmured, her words muffled.