‘It is easy,’ he replied, keeping his voice low and even.
She lifted her hand, her palm facing him. ‘Hang on, hotshot. Let me catch my breath.’
Angus forced himself to back off and gave her some time to think. When she spoke again, she sounded a little less breathless.
Damn. Still so sexy.
‘I’ve got to think about this, Angus. I was engaged to another guy less than a week ago.’
‘He made you angry, but he didn’t break your heart and you’re not emotionally vulnerable,’ Angus calmly reminded her. ‘You’re single, Thadie, and if you want to have a one-night stand or a dozen of them, that’s your right. I’d like you to have one, or a couple, with me.’
‘So straightforward, Docherty,’ Thadie murmured. ‘No hearts or flowers or fancy words.’
He’d never been and never would be the type. ‘Not my thing,’ he assured her.
Thadie cocked her head at him, her gaze direct. ‘So, I’ll be another one-night stand? Is that what you are after?’
He hesitated but before he could answer her, she was off again. ‘I mean... I don’t, necessarily, have a problem with that. I’m not ready for another relationship, or anything really! I’m just trying to see things as they are, not as I want them to be.’
‘Can you explain that?’ Angus asked.
She shrugged. ‘I didn’t look at my relationship with my ex closely enough. I imagined it to be better than it was. If I’d been thinking clearly, if I’d asked more questions, I might’verealised that he was behind the efforts to sabotage the wedding. I thought that because he was laid-back, he wasn’t ambitious. He was calm but I failed to see how sneaky he was. If I’d asked more questions, probed a bit more, was more present, I could’ve avoided a lot of grief and wasted money.’
‘So, now you’re asking questions?’ he clarified.
She nodded and shrugged. ‘Now I’m asking questions.’
Fair enough. He considered giving her a flip answer but that wasn’t fair. The very least he could be was honest. She deserved that and giving her half-truths, as her ex had, would be insulting. And he wasn’t that type of guy.
But how did he tell her that, having been rejected by his parents, and used as a pawn by his father, he was terrified of emotional engagement? He was trying with Gus and Finn and opening up to them was hard enough. Falling in love, allowing someone to take possession of his heart? He still couldn’t see that happening. How could he give someone who professed to love him—someone he wanted to love and please—the power to treat his heart like a bowling ball and dictate the terms of that life?
But he had to tell her something. And it had to be the truth.
‘I’ve never been married, engaged, nor have I had a long-term partner. I like living my life solo, having no one to answer to. I’m not good at relationships,’ he told her, holding her gaze. ‘I have affairs, Thadie, that’s as emotionally deep as I’ll go. I’d like to have one with you, for as long as that works for both of us.’
‘Okay, well, that was blunt.’
He couldn’t read the emotion in her eyes and that frustrated him. Was she relieved? Or disappointed? Damn, where were his reading-the-room skills when he needed them?
Did she need reassurance? And if she did, what could he tell her? That he’d change for her? That because she fascinated him, he’d allow the chains wrapping his locked-away heart to fallaway and he’d take a chance on having a relationship with her? But, given his upbringing and dismal interpersonal skills, he would fail at giving her what she needed, and he’d hurt her—and himself—in that futile quest.
He didn’t fail and, since he knew he would fail at being what Thadie needed, he wouldn’t even try.
But there was one thing they were spectacular at: they had a chemistry that was extraordinary and exceptional...
‘I can make you feel good, Thads, better than before,’ he said. ‘Let me take you to bed, where I’ll make you forget all the chaos of the last few months and remind you of what it is to feel sexy. Feminine, powerful. Wanted beyond all meaning.’
He saw the capitulation in her eyes, the need to be in his arms. He lifted one eyebrow. ‘Yes?’ he prompted.
‘Yes.’
Thank God and all his angels and arch angels.
Picking up her hands, Angus tugged her to him so that her lips were an inch from his. ‘Too much talking,’ he murmured. ‘Definitely not enough kissing.’
‘I agree,’ she replied, her sweet breath fluttering against his lips.
‘Slide your thigh over mine,’ he told her.