“What happened to me, it’s…well, you know. It ruined me enough that I didn’t step out of my house for three years three months and ten days.”
“Back to knowing how many days? Is everything okay?”
“Fine. I was curious earlier while I was talking to Jenna.”
He dipped his head. “Go on.”
“Well, I’m always looking around, scared of everything so I could run away, avoid it. You, you look around so you can head it off and kick the crap out of whatever dares confront you.” I sat down and grabbed his hand. “I love that. Wish I had more of that in me, but what I meant is that you assume something bad is going to happen, so you live like it is. Only you didn’t hide, you got big and super-strong. Anger was your prison, like my house was mine.”
He gulped.
“I so didn’t plan on saying all that.” I shook my head, what the heck was wrong with me? “Talk about a way to ruin New Year’s Eve bringing up all heavy and dark stuff.”
“You’re right.” He brought my fingers to his mouth. “And you didn’t ruin anything. But…The shit from our pasts haunts us in different ways. Lends to different types of prisons.”
“I’m walking out of mine, are you?”
He held my gaze for so long I didn’t think he was going to answer me for a minute, and I glanced around, uncomfortable with the silence.
“I am, actually, walking out of my prison.” He glanced out of the window. “Becauseof you.”
I held my breath. It wasn’t very often he opened up about his past, but it sounded like he might right this very minute, and I sat at the edge of my seat in anticipation. I wanted to know more about him almost as much as I wanted a fifty-pound bag of candy corn.
It was more than the knowing, though, it was about him. I wanted more of him. I’d already decided tonight was the night I wanted to try to be close with him again, but if he opened up a little, gave me another peek into his life, that would be icing on the cake.
He unzipped his jacket a little and let out a long breath. Wait…was that lipstick on his shirt? A wave of perfume swirled around me like a noose around my neck as he shifted closer. What the—
“Because of you, Lina, I’ve broken the one rule I’ve lived by since Isabelle. There was no stopping it. No matter how hard I tried, and trust me, I tried. Even hurt you in the process, which was the last thing I wanted to do.”
I focused on his eyes, trying to not look at the smudge that was now a blinding light working to lure my focus. It had to be a mistake. Maybe it was blood?
No fights today.
But then what could it be?
“Lina?” He jiggled my hand. “You okay?”
“Fine.” I shook my head. “You broke your rules for me.”
“Never get involved. Never let anyone in.”
“Because of Isabelle. I get it.” I wasn’t sure I wanted that pressure, but I had it.
“And Dad. He’s dangerous. It would kill me if you got hurt by getting mixed up with me.” His grip on my hand tightened, and his nostrils flared. “New year. New life.”
“Together.”
“You and me.” He clanked his ring to mine.
My gaze drifted down to the lipstick on his shirt, near the neckline and my doubt flared up like a flame doused in lighter fluid. “Do you wish I could go to your club?”
“If not my club, maybe somewhere…like out to dinner?” He nodded. “That’d be cool. A quiet bar with a small dance floor maybe?”
“It’s important to you.”
“You are. Only what you’re ready for. You know that, right?”
It was always what I was ready for. He was so getting gypped by dating me. Wasn’t he? He’d broken his rule for a broken person, and he deserved more. Someone who could go dancing, go out and have fun without passing out from a panic attack.