“Help me,” I gasped. “Oh, God.”
Lisa’s hand rubbed up my back. “Breathe, honey. Focus on my voice. You can do it, Angelina.”
I listened to her speaking the words as they coaxed my body into obeying. Slowly, I calmed down.
“There you go. Come on.” Lisa helped me to my feet and drew me into a warm hug. “You’re okay, sweetie.”
“Where’s Hunter?” I sobbed into her shoulder. “Hunter…”
“He’s fine. Just wanted to give you some space. Shhh, now. It’s fine.”
She held me there for I don’t know how long before she leaned back and looked at me with the very same eyes as Hunter’s. Piercing, intense, and gentle all rolled up into sincere. She was so incredible.
“Come out to the kitchen.” She led me by the hand, and as I passed through my bedroom I glanced at the couch. I’d been close to Hunter there. Kissed him. Wanted him to touch me, and those bastards ruined it for me.
I choked back a sob and focused on Lisa. “How are you here?”
“Hunt came and got me. He didn’t want you to wake up and be scared with a man in your safe space.”
I covered my face with my hand, the embarrassment burning through my fingertips. “I’m mortified.”
“Don’t be. He’s seen much worse, trust me on that one.”
“He has?”
“He’s told you a little about his father and our situation, but not all.” Lisa smiled as she guided me to a kitchen barstool. “You should try and eat something.” She pushed a plate of cinnamon rolls and orange juice in front of me. “And like I said, it’s his story to tell, but I can share some of mine that he just happened to be a part of. And it includes panic attacks of all levels. But let’s start with you telling me what happened last night. Or would you like me to get Jenna on the phone?”
“No. I’m okay.” I peeled off a piece of warm bread and put it in my mouth. “I love cinnamon rolls.”
“I figured you would. Everyone does, secretly anyway.” She smiled over her cup of coffee. “Go on.”
“I feel weird telling you.”
“Don’t be shy.” She winked. “There’s not much that can surprise this old bird.”
“You’re not old.” I swallowed some orange juice, already feeling the energy return. “I asked if I could try touching him. We were…kissing.” I closed my eyes, fighting the tears. “And the…flashbacks.” I squeezed my eyes shut as they tried to work their way into my thoughts even now. “Hit hard. My guard was down. I—felt so comfortable.”
“Damn PTSD. It’s like you’re right back in the event.”
“I could smell their sweat. Hear them breathing.” I fisted my hand and pounded the counter. “They ruined it. I was doing so well.”
“They didn’t ruin it, sweetie, don’t give them that power.” She patted my hand. “Do. Not. Give them that. They are scum-sucking bastards who don’t deserve such power over you.”
I looked at Lisa, stunned. She’d never talked so forcefully before.
“Sorry. My son tends to wear off on me.”
“Hunter doesn’t…talk like that.”
“Well, he cleans up nicely for you, but sometimes he lets his tongue loose.” She shook her head in trueMomfashion.
I rested my head on the countertop. “He was so perfect. So tender. How could I let those bastards in on that moment?”
“It takes time. This is your first taste of love since what happened to you. It’s trying to taint what’s good, what’s pure.”
“I love him, Lisa.” Tears stung my eyes. “So much, and I’ve been ruined for him.”
“I know it feels that way, honey.” She hugged me over the shoulder. “It feels that way, but it’s not true. It’s the furthest thing from the truth. You are such a pure soul. Look what you organized last night. You raised over four hundred thousand dollars. Did you know that?”